


a house is not a home

by owlaashi



Category: All For The Game - Nora Sakavic
Genre: Brief Descriptions of Panic Attacks, Kissing, M/M, Mutual Pining, Roommates, Slow Burn, basically everything is the same except riko isn't dead, guard dogs bark bark, thank you katelyn
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-12-06
Updated: 2021-03-01
Packaged: 2021-03-09 20:41:27
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 7
Words: 24,584
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27912454
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/owlaashi/pseuds/owlaashi
Summary: Logically, Aaron knew that med school was going to be time-consuming, he just hadn't realized how much until he was out on his ass with a bank account that didn't support a one-person rent in the windy city of Chicago.Logically, Kevin knew that moving to a brand-new city with a brand-new team was going to be difficult, he just didn't realize how difficult it was going to be until he was met with the realization that he would never be as free as he wanted.Together, they learn that leaning on each other might not be as bad as they thought it was going to be.
Relationships: Kevin Day/Aaron Minyard
Comments: 129
Kudos: 118





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> there has been a kevaaron drought for far too long, and i intend to solve that beginning with this. 
> 
> this was unbeat'ed because i wanted to get it out as fast as i can, so i only did a quick read through after i slept, so i'm sorry if there's some things i missed.

Logically speaking Aaron knew that medical school was going to be time-consuming, but until he was being kicked out of his apartment for Katelyn’s new boyfriend he really didn’t realize just  _ how _ busy it had made him. Not busy in the sense that it was what lead to the downfall of his relationship — that had been happening for a while now — but in the sense that his bank account was sorely lacking the funds for an apartment on his own. 

When he and Katelyn moved to Chicago for Feinberg, they’d been lucky enough for their conversation to fall on the ears of an older woman who was trying to rent out the top floor of her tenement. The rent was dirt cheap, with utilities included so all they had to do was pay for their internet and food; it was perfect. 

Now it was perfect for Katelyn, and Jett. 

Aaron pulls the brown knit scarf higher on his face to block out the Chicago wind, somehow still feeling the chill through the heavy jacket he had on as he quickly rounded the corner into the motel parking lot. The nightly fee was cheap enough for him to crash there until he was able to figure out something more permanent, he was already working the max amount of hours he could, given his schedule. As he slips the key into the door and steps into the room the stale smell of old carpet and the cigarette smoke from the couple next door fills his nostrils; at the same time, he feels his phone buzz in his pocket. 

The buzzing doesn’t stop as he sheds layers upon layers of clothing before finally being able to throw himself onto the old, springy mattress. As soon as his weight is on it, he feels a spring dig into his back and another one pop at the end of the bed. His phone continues to buzz, one after another, a dreadful feeling forming in the pit of his stomach. 

_ The group chat _ . 

For some ungodly reason when the upperclassmen left they added each of the original foxes into a group chat so that they’d be able to keep up with each other as they all went their separate ways. In a way it was nice, no one in the world really understood what they all went through his sophomore year, but now, as the notifications keep lighting up his screen he despises it. 

Against his better judgment, he opens it. 

**this is what the foxes say**

**dan:** congratulations kevin!

**allison** : congrats! 

**matt:** didn’t think u were ever gunna leave texas! nice!

**nicky** : wait what’s happening???? 

**renee** : kevin signed with the warriors, he’s moving to chicago. 

**nicky** : WHAT !! CONGRATULATIONS !!! 

**nicky:** you’ll have to have aaron show you around

**kevin:** thanks 

**neil** : andrew wants to know if they kicked u off bc ur so obnoxious 

The only thing worse than being kicked out of his apartment for his ex’s new boyfriend — in the same two hours that he found out she’d been seeing someone else — but now Kevin Day is going to be in Chicago, and there’s no way he’ll be able to avoid him. Not that there’s really anything to avoid, after he and Andrew got better so did his relationship with the others, Kevin included. They found out they actually have some things in common, and out of all the foxes Kevin’s the only one he really keeps in contact with; if the occasional text every three days is considered communication. 

It only smarts a little that he didn’t know ahead of time that Kevin was in the works of leaving Texas, never mind coming here to his city. He frowns down at his phone, and opens up his text with Kevin, ignoring the group chat. 

**aaron:** you’re coming to chicago?

**kev** : yeah, just became official 3 hours ago

**kev:** think it’d be ok if i crash on ur couch for a few days while i look for a place

**aaron:** yes

**kev:** u and katelyn won’t even know i’m there 

**aaron:** kev you’re six feet tall and huge how can you even say that 

**aaron:** besides i don’t even have a place anymore 

**kev:** what????

**kev:** did uguys get kicked out???

**aaron:** i did 

**aaron:** katelyn kicked me out for her new boyfriend

**aaron** : so even if i wanted to let you sleep on my couch i don’t have one

**aaron:** not that i want you on my couch

**kev:** since when??

**kev:** why didn’t you say something??

**aaron:** why didn’t you tell me you were signing with the warriors? 

Aaron tosses his phone aside and stares up at the peeling ceiling of his motel room, hands folded over on his stomach, drumming away to a beat he’d heard on the radio once. The wallpaper was peeling away at a space behind the TV, the water pressure wasn’t anything more than a weak garden hose, the sheets and blankets were stiff and the carpet felt bad beneath his feet. He’d spent more than one night lying awake, thinking about how the last time he’d been in a motel like this one his mother had been buying drugs for them somewhere in California. Those are the memories that he doesn’t like to dwell on too much, the ones that threaten to send him spiraling back to the Aaron he used to be instead of the ones he’s become. 

The generic ring of his phone brings him back to the present, he answers the phone without even looking at the caller ID, which proves to be the wrong move as soon as he presses accept. 

“Kevin said you and Katelyn broke up.” Andrew cuts straight to the point, despite his voice sounding even, Aaron knows that he’s probably spinning a knife around in his kitchen right now. 

“Hello to you too, Andrew.” He forces himself up, crossing his legs in front of him putting all his attention on the bits of worn fuzz on his socks. 

“Aaron.” 

“Yes, we broke up.” He plans to keep the truth from Andrew, he really doesn’t need Andrew to know Katelyn cheated on him, then kicked him out on his ass right before exam week. That’d be a quick one-way ticket to a courthouse, and he’d spent enough time in one for the rest of his life. After a little, he adds. “I’m fine.”

On the other end of the phone, he can hear another voice and some muffled arguing; Aaron assumes Neil is there before his season starts up, and he has to head back down South. Although Neil still isn’t his favorite person in the world, he’s grown to not completely hate him as much as he had; though he still despises his uncanny ability to read other people’s problems. Right now, he bets Neil is arguing with Andrew over whether sending him money is a good idea or not. 

“I’m sending you —” His brother begins before the person on the other end of the line has a chance to interrupt him again, but Aaron does it for them. 

“No. I don’t need your help right now, Andrew.” 

Another step forward for him. Learning how to communicate his continued want for Andrew’s presence in his life without absolutely shutting him out; took a lot of work to get to where he is now, considering the first thing that wants to come out of his mouth is whatever will hurt the most. If Betsy could see him now, he bets she would be proud. 

The other line is quiet for far too long to be settling before he hears.”Okay.”

Another step forward for them, where in the past Andrew would force his help upon him to keep him safe. In the past few years, Andrew has been learning to trust his brother more, especially since they can’t both be in the same city, never mind state. 

The telltale beep of an incoming call fills his ears, a huff leaving his mouth. “I gotta go, someone’s calling in. I’ll let you know if anything changes.” He doesn’t give Andrew a chance to reply, he accepts the incoming FaceTime call from Kevin, flopping back on the bed. 

“Did you get my texts?” 

“I don’t know I was on the phone with, Andrew.” Aaron reaches down with his free hand to pull his socks off and toss them into a pile of clothes he really needs to wash soon. He does however go to look at his text messages once he’s finished, noting the three links to apartment sites. Both eyebrows furrow together, an annoyed look taking over his hazel eyes. 

“They’re for me, asshat. What do you think, you know the area better than I do.” Kevin asks, taking a sip from his coffee mug, an old one from Palmetto that looks like it had it’s better days. “I can’t decide, I like the kitchen on one, the bathroom on another, and the view from the third option.”

Aaron huffs again but opens up the first link and scrolls through the photos of the apartment, the one with the kitchen he assumes since there're no photos of the view and the bathroom is just a little nicer than his previous one. It’s nothing special in his opinion, but even he has to admit the kitchen is nice. It’s a two-bedroom, which works out if Wymack decides to visit him and the living room is a decent size; as far as he knows Kevin will be the only one there, it’s a good space as far as good spaces go. 

“The kitchen one is okay, not really worth the price for the neighborhood it’s in, honestly. The bedrooms look to be a decent size, there’s closet space. Nothing special but it’s good for one person, so you don’t feel so alone in a huge space.” 

“I like the double door refrigerator.” He offers with a shrug as he sits down on his couch, using his free hand to adjust the hooded collar of his sweater. “A lot of room for fruits and vegetables.” 

“Nerd.” But Aaron laughs. 

The returning smile Kevin gives him crinkles the corners of his eyes. 

Aaron opens the second link and repeats the process. Bathroom apartment, he surmises as he sees the picture of the waterfall shower head, and spacious bathtub. This apartment is fancier than the other one, with tiled floors, a double sink in the bathroom, high ceilings with crown molding Katelyn would have died for. Another two-bedroom, this one allows for walk-in closets in both of them, and hardwood floors throughout; it’s not Aaron’s favorite so far. 

“Did Allison pick this one out? Looks a little pretentious.” He snorts, running a hand through his blonde hair before folding it behind his head.

On the other line, Kevin’s eyebrows come together, a lock of hair falling into his face where it’s gotten too long. The last time he’d FaceTimed with Kevin he’d made fun of him for it. “No, I did. What’s pretentious about it?” This time it comes out sounding like a demand, a hint of the drill sergeant he was on court seeping in even now. 

“The crown molding, the hardwood floors, the bathroom, the tile in the bathroom. Not to mention the neighborhood. Very high end of you. Mister big-shot Kevin Day with his fancy apartment.” 

“Maybe my fancy apartment, you haven’t looked at the third option yet.” Kevin leans back into his couch, not the least bit offended at Aaron’s teasing of him, long since used to it. 

With a roll of hazel eyes, Aaron uses his thumb to open up the last link, ignoring Kevin’s rambling about his last practice as he sees the pictures finally load up. The area is immediately familiar to him, halfway between his school and the stadium, and right where his current job is located. He sits up, suddenly very focused on the first picture on the roll, one side of the wall of the living room is brick, the other almost entirely taken up by windows, with high ceilings and exposed iron beams. The open floor plan leads into the kitchen adorned with dark appliances, and room enough for a breakfast bar on the open end of the long counter. The entire place is adorned with dark hardwood floors and iron accents. 

Another picture shows the master bedroom, also with large open windows, and the same floors as the rest of the place. The walk-in closet and a bathroom attached make Aaron’s eyes widen; the shower is a walk-in, the same dark iron as the kitchen, with sizeable counter space. 

“Wow.” Aaron breathes out without realizing. 

This apartment is also a two-bedroom, but with a small office that could be turned into another guest room, or knowing Kevin an in-home gym, so he can work out even during off-hours. This is the exact place that Aaron wishes he could live in, with industrial accents and a gorgeous view of the city that’s right in the middle of everywhere he needs to be. The kind of place Katelyn wouldn’t want because it wasn’t homey enough for her. 

“Ah, so you like it then.” Kevin says, knowing. 

“I don’t know why you even have the other two as options.” He’s still scrolling through the listing, pets allowed, most utilities included, washer and dryer units in apartments, two car spaces guaranteed. The rent price makes him want to throw up, but it’s something Kevin would be able to afford without a problem. 

“Fridge space and waterfall shower,” Kevin repeats. 

“The fridge is just as big, and this one has a walk-in shower. You could put a damn waterfall shower head in here if you wanted. Plus you’d be in the middle of everything, and there’s a great running route that goes right by here.”

“Ah, Neil rubbing off on you? You go running now?” Kevin teases. 

The returning scowl Aaron sends him is enough to shut him up. “If you want my honest opinion, the third one.” 

They’re both quiet for a long time, Aaron’s eyes never leaving the photos of the apartment, too lost in thought thinking about a time when he’d be living there or a place just like it. With bookshelves on the wall, displaying his neuroscience books, dark-colored blankets adorning the couch to keep warm in the winters, but allowing the natural lighting to light up the room. A dog, maybe, sleeping on the couch while some Exy game plays on the TV. 

“I thought so, so I had a virtual showing. I was going to go there in-person to take a look, but,” Kevin shrugs, voice dragging Aaron from his thoughts. “I’m signing the papers online tomorrow. There’s an extra room, it’s yours. I’ll text you the address, can you pick up the keys from the realtor?” The sound of a doorbell rings in the distance, Kevin’s brow furrowing. “I gotta go, but I’ll send you the address.” 

Then hangs up before Aaron can even open his mouth in protest. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry, but riko isn't dead. i like a little angst with my fluff, as a lil treat. i cannot promise that he's not going to be an absolute dick head, because he absolutely is going to be. 
> 
> i will add tags as the chapters progress, i just tagged the big main ones right now so ya'll know what you're gonna get overall. i polled my twitter babes a bit ago about kevaaron, and everyone basically wanted roommates, mutual pining and fluff; so this is that ( after scraping the first 1.7k words because i hated it all ). there will be some angst so beware, but i will also tag any possible triggers at the beginning of the chapters as a warning. 
> 
> i hope you all take this journey with me, and as always you can find me on twitter @kittsukii


	2. Chapter 2

Jane was an attractive woman, with long brown hair she wore in loose waves and expertly pined away from her face to show off her green eyes and tortoiseshell glasses. The way her dress hugged her body, she looked more like a teacher from a wet dream he’d had when he was in high school than a realtor. Half of her chest was visible from the top of her dress, a necklace with a diamond sitting just above the valley of her breasts; this was, no doubt, done on purpose. 

She was also unhappy to see him sitting in her office instead of the actual renter of this property. Judging by the way her eyes narrowed when she rounded the chair he was in, she was hoping to get Kevin alone in her office. 

_ Typical _ .

Though it does bring him immense joy to know Kevin probably wouldn’t even be looking at her the way she wanted him too. Too engrossed in getting his keys, so he’d be able to make it to the stadium or find the best place to buy organic fruits and vegetables.  _ Fucking oblivious moron _ . 

“Well, I was expecting Mr. Day,” Jane says, clearing her throat as she sits down in her chair, moving some folders around on her desk. “Will he be joining us?” 

He has an exam he should be studying for, not playing nice with a realtor. “No.” 

The look in Jane’s eyes is searching, almost like she was trying to think of any excuse in the book to put this off until she could get Kevin in the chair instead of him. Truly he doesn’t blame her, he doesn’t have the same presence that Kevin does, everything he feels about any given situation is an open book in his body language. 

She hums, pulling a folder out from under the stack and folds her hands on top, eyes flickering from his face to the folder, calculating. “That’s quite unfortunate, there were some things we needed to go over.” Jane opens the folder, glancing over the paperwork and the set of keys tapped to the inside of the folder. “Unless your name is on the lease I can’t give you the keys.” 

“I’m on the lease.” Aaron leans forward in his chair, hazel hues searching the paperwork in front of them until his eyes land on the bottom of the paper, typed in twelve point Times New Roman font, right under Kevin’s own name. “Aaron Minyard.” He points to where the names are, ignoring the annoyance that bubbles under his skin. Though he isn’t sure if it’s because she’s taking up his precious studying time, or if it’s because Kevin actually  _ did _ put his name on the lease. 

“Well.” Jane straightens her shoulders, sitting up straighter than before as she turns over a piece of paper and a pen. “Sign here.” 

Aaron grabs the pen and signs his name quickly and messily, wanting nothing more than to get out of here to return to his sweat pants to study for the upcoming exam; he feels his phone buzz in his pocket, annoyance writes itself across his face. 

She hands him both sets of keys, and leans back into her chair suddenly looking like she couldn't be done with this fast enough. “Two sets of keys, if you happen to lose one you’ll have to pay a fee to get them replaced, same goes for needing extra sets for an emergency. Absolutely no duplicates can be made by the renters. The apartment comes with two car spaces in the parking lot, they’re labeled with your apartment number. If Mr.Day has any questions he can contact me with them.” 

“I doubt it.” He says more to himself as he trades the keys for his phone in his jean pocket, glancing down at the missed call as he gets up to leave. The name  _ Katelyn  _ comes across the screen, and a minute later a missed voicemail pops up. 

Aaron pockets his phone, and heads out the front door to the realtor's office and into the cold air of Chicago. 

* * *

It turns out that Kevin neglected to tell him that movers were coming to bring furniture and some of his things that he’d shipped up from Texas, today. Another notch on the list of reasons for Aaron to strangle Kevin in his sleep. 

Aaron’s phone buzzes in the pocket of his sweat pants, not taking his eyes off of the movers as they secure a bookshelf to the wall with a scowl; he’s supposed to be studying for an exam. Glancing down at his phone he can’t help but snort at the text that’s on his screen. 

**katelyn:** did you change the netflix password on me?

**aaron:** yes

**katelyn:** really, aaron? 

**aaron:** yes, my name and credit card are on the account

**aaron:** have jett get you netflix

If someone were to have told him three years ago that there would be a point in his life where he would be petty toward Katelyn, he would have laughed in their faces. She was supposed to the  _ one _ : not just the one he was supposed to spend the rest of his life with, but the one that was supposed to help put back the pieces of his life that never quite fit together. Katelyn was supposed to be the one that brought him out of the very carefully constructed shell he made around himself, to show him that not everyone was bad, not everyone was betting against him. 

She had been, for four years. The one that gave him a reason to wake up and play Exy every day, because he knew he’d see her face in the crowd cheering for him. Katelyn had started to glue some of his broken pieces back together, helped him open up just a little, taught him it was  _ okay  _ to feel vulnerable. 

Then promptly stepped on every bit of progress they’d made together with her size seven shoe. 

Aaron deserves to be petty. 

Another couple movers come in with a sectional with navy blue textured fabric, and he curses in his head that it’s nearly the exact one he’d imagined himself owning one day. He has half a mind to text Andrew and tell him he should have left Kevin with the Ravens, but thinks better of it. 

“Where do you want these boxes?” A voice asks, two brown boxes in his arms, standing near the long breakfast nook. 

“Master bedroom.” He says, glancing down at where his study materials are spread out on the counters surrounding him. Not that he’d be getting any studying done with the amount of people moving in and out and the insistent sound of power tools as they attach things to walls. 

The noise and movers he could deal with, they’d be gone soon and finally he’d be able to focus on Pathology, but what he cannot deal with is the movers coming in with a second mattress and a second bed frame. 

_ I’m going to kill him _ . 

Immediately Aaron picks up his phone and selects Kevin’s number from the recent call list, his back pressing into the edge of the counter. Two rings before Kevin answers, a new record. “You bought me a fucking bed.”

“Well I didn’t think you’d had one hiding in your motel room.” 

Aaron can see the smirk all the way from Chicago, he can also hear the sounds of an airport in the background. “You bought me a bed, and furnished the entire apartment from  _ Texas _ .” 

It isn’t that fact that Kevin decided to furnish the apartment, or buy him a bed that gets to a part of him he thought he buried since Palmetto, it’s the feeling like he still needs to be taken care of. Ever since Andrew stepped into his life he’d taken care of him without Aaron’s consent, and even though they broke their agreement halfway through he never really stopped. When he’d found out about Aaron’s failed relationship his first thought was protection, and then to send him money. Now Kevin put his name on a lease to an apartment he can’t afford and bought him a bed. 

He’s supposed to be the one helping them, after all he’s breaking his back in medical school, so he can  _ help _ people, Not, so he can continue to be taken care of like a child who needs training wheels. 

“Moving fees.” Kevin says, like Aaron should have figured that out. “The Warriors, well most teams give you a moving budget to relocate. I didn’t buy a house so there was a ton left over, so I bought you a bed.” 

_ So I bought you a bed _ , again like it was no big deal to him, Aaron could throttle him. 

Whether Kevin likes it or not Aaron will be paying something for this apartment, even if he has to fight him to get him to agree. But that’s a conversation to have in person not over the phone while people are in and out of his space and Kevin can easily end the call. Aaron will just wait until he can corner him. 

“Yeah well, I have Netflix.” 

“Perfect! There’s a history documentary I want to watch.” Aaron  _ hates _ how genuinely excited he sounds about that, it makes him scowl at a spot on the floor. 

Thirteen ninety-nine a month, versus an entire apartment and a bed, yet Kevin sounds like a kid who opened up a trip to Disneyland on Christmas morning. 

“Roman Empire or Secrets of the Saqqara Tomb? Oh, there’s also a couple on WW2, it’s impossible to tell which one you’re talking about.” Aaron’s face softens, hates that he knows which history documentaries are on Netflix — he doesn’t even really like history all that much. 

“Roman Empire, but the Saqqara Tomb one sounds fantastic too,” From the other end of the line the sounds of a loudspeaker come through, the call for boarding from North Carolina to Chicago boarding now. “There’s one I think you’d like, it’s about surgeons, we can watch that one too. My planes boarding though, I’ll see you tonight.” 

It’s a simple statement, something a lesser man would have ignored completely, something anyone else would contribute to  _ just something a friend knows _ . But Aaron is not a lesser man, and he’s not just anyone. The air feels forced from his lungs, like Kevin’s casual statement alone punch him right in his solar plexus, nearly causes him to go silent completely. 

When he regains oxygen, he says. “Yeah, see you tonight”

The line disconnects, and Aaron has the sinking feeling in his gut that says:  _ I hate being known. _

* * *

Aaron huffs, blowing his bangs where they grew a little long from his face as he puts the grocery bags on the counter. They were filled with an absurd amount of fruits and vegetables, even more than what he and Katelyn used to buy. He supposes that’s going to be something he’ll have to get used to buying now, well at least for as long as he’s here; which won’t be long. As soon as he has enough money to afford rent on his own he’ll be out of here. 

Glancing at his watch he had just under two hours before Kevin is due at the apartment, which means he has plenty of time to start studying before he’s here. Putting the last of the groceries away he hears his phone buzz against the counter. 

Popping his AirPods in he accepts the call, immediately being bombarded by his cousins too awake voice. “Kevin said you’re moving in with him? What happened with Katelyn? Are you both moving in with him? Wouldn’t that be weird?” 

“Why are you awake?” He asks, glancing at the clock and doing the mental math. “Isn’t it like five in the morning or something?” Aaron leaves the kitchen and pads into his own room, changing back into his sweat pants. 

“Yeah, Erik and I start work early today, he’s making breakfast and coffee. So, what’s this about, hm?” Nicky asks, clear on his intent to not give up on getting the answers. 

“Katelyn and I broke up, Kevin’s letting me stay in his spare room until I can get a place. That’s it.” Aaron goes about grabbing his sheets and making his bed. “Why would it have been weird?” 

It wouldn’t have been like the three of them would have been in the apartment all that often with their schedules, plus Katelyn and Kevin know each other, it shouldn’t have been weird at all. He and Katelyn would respect that fact that it’s Kevin’s apartment, and Kevin could respect that they needed some quiet space to study. They would have worked well together as roommates. 

“Oh ya’know.” Nicky trailed off, voice cracking toward the end. There were no sounds coming from the other end of the line, Aaron would have thought his cousin had hung up. “Katelyn and Kevin. They, well you know.” 

Katelyn and Kevin? 

No. 

That was impossible; well Aaron would have thought that it was impossible a week ago, but considering the events that lead him here he wouldn’t be surprised if she’d slept with someone else before. But Kevin? He and Thea broke up because all he wanted to focus on was Exy, and she was and Exy back liner. There’s no —

“They don’t really like each other?” Nicky offered up after Aaron’s silence. 

“They don’t?” 

Nicky made an exasperated noise on the other line. “And we all say Neil and Kevin are the oblivious ones. I gotta go, Erik’s done with breakfast. Just promise me you won’t be too hard on him.” 

Aaron doesn’t have a chance to respond, this time the line does actually go dead. 

Katelyn and Kevin not liking one another was news to him. As far as he was concerned the only person Katelyn didn't get along with, and not for lack of trying, was Andrew. She’d gotten along well with the girls and Nicky, as far as he knew she didn’t have any problems with Matt and her and Neil actually held conversations (  _ which still baffles he and Andrew _ ). But Kevin? 

The buzzing in his pocket distracts him again, a text. 

**kevin:** just landed, but have to grab something on my way over 

**aaron:** i’ll leave the key under your stupid doormat 

**kevin:** you won’t be saying that when your shoes are muddy 

Before slipping his phone back into his pocket he checks the time, 10:34 PM. By the time Kevin gets home it’ll be late, he’ll probably want to go straight to bed after traveling all day. 

He finishes up his bed and makes his way across the hall to Kevin’s room, looking for the boxes labeled bedroom until he finds the ones with his sheets and blankets. Aaron grabs whatever is on top and goes about making Kevin’s bed so at least he won’t have to fall asleep on the couch. 

“What the hell could he be grabbing at half past ten?” Aaron asks himself as he throws the pillows on the bed, smoothing out the lines of the pillow cases before shutting the light and grabbing a throw blanket from the same box. 

Making his way back into the living room, he sets up his laptop with a movie, the idea of studying has completely flown out the window, the only thing taking up space there is trying to figure out why Katelyn and Kevin don’t like each other. Sure he knew that Kevin was A Lot, but so was he and all the other Foxes, yet Katelyn fit in with them just as well. To the best of his knowledge nothing happened that would warrant this, they both stuck with him through the trial, they both supported him and his dream to be a Neurosurgeon, they were both some of the only people that were able to get under the thorny facade he puts up.

Contemplating this he makes sure to slip the key under the doormat, after checking that no one else was in the hallway and then slips back inside to grab a water bottle from the fridge. Tongue clicking he throws himself down on the couch, opening up the oversized throw he stole from Kevin’s room and burrowing himself underneath it. This isn’t something he’s going to get to the bottom of tonight, he’ll have to ask Kevin himself for the answer; has to decide if it’s even worth it, would he really ever give Katelyn a second chance? 

Leaning forward he presses play on his laptop, listening to the opening of Pacific Rim as he adjusts one of the throw pillows under his head. Aaron only makes it twenty minutes into the movie before he’s fast asleep on the couch.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i'm going to attempt to get a chapter out a week, but the key word here is attempt. i'll be aiming to post on sunday's but again, that's just a plan and i notoriously fail at plans, so i apologize ahead of time. 
> 
> how do you guys feel about having some chapters be more kevin centric? i started this with the focus to be mainly on aaron but i sort of have a couple ideas and scenes that i think would be good to see from kevin's point of view. i'm not sure whether i'll be bouncing back and forth between chapters, or just throw in some random kevin ones as a lil treat. 
> 
> also speaking of kevin, i have a big plot point that i could work both ways and honestly, i'm trying to figure out how much i hate kevin in this fic. if i don't hate him too much i'll lean one way, but if i decide i hate him a lot i'll be leaning in another. so, it'll be a surprise to everyone including myself.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> welcome to the first kevin-centric chapter ~

The weight of the stadium keys is palpable from where they sit in his jean pocket, pressing against his leg in a way that only keys to a stadium can; a place where he can truly feel comfortable. It hadn’t been until he signed to the Texans that he realized how much a key could mean, because they were another team that accepted  _ him _ , that wanted  _ him _ there; they weren’t a team led by his father, or someone that knew his mother when she was alive. All those years he thought Neil crazy to think a key could mean so much. 

It’s quiet by the time he makes it to his door, lips quirking just a bit at the sight of the doormat, clearly placed with care despite Aaron thinking it was stupid. Kevin slings the duffle bag higher on his shoulder, before bending down to get the key hidden under the mat, fingers running over the teeth of it before sliding it into the lock. Once the lock gives, he pushes it open slowly, bringing his suitcase with him as he walks in. 

Without curtains the moon cast a glow through the windows, painting the couch in a soft light, illuminating the sleeping figure there. One arm hanging off the couch, face half pressed to the cushions underneath and half on the throw pillow, a leg hiked up, the other stretched out with toes peeking from under the blanket. There’s a bit of drool coming from his mouth. Even stretched out the way he is Aaron doesn’t take up space, and not for the first time does it strike Kevin just how different he and Andrew actually are. 

He shuts and locks the door as quietly as he can, careful not to trip on anything in the process of making it to his room when he’s finished. Using a hand pressed to the wall he tries to make his way without stumbling to his room, only fumbling around for the switch when he nearly jams a finger into the door frame. Tries not to curse under his breath when the light comes on, nearly blinding him from the brightness in the dark of the rest of the apartment. Kevin’s surprised when he sees his bed already made, less surprised by the box that’s been cut up with a kitchen knife and left there, half filled with a pile of pillow cases on the floor. 

For all the original Foxes say about him, he continues to surprise Kevin time after time. 

Offering the second room to Aaron had been done for strictly selfish reasons; it hadn’t mattered that he’d been out of the Nest for years now so much of what he went through would be forever ingrained in him, like not being able to be alone. After he and Thea had broken up, and even when they were together had been hell when she wasn’t around. Living alone had led to more problems than it cured, still not able to function knowing that he was the only person in the space. It got better of course, when he started opening up to people on his team, but once they left he was still alone in the end. Giving Aaron the second room helped both of them; he didn’t have to live alone and Aaron didn’t have to keep paying for a motel. 

Kevin decides to change the track's direction, choosing to not think about the time when Aaron may decide to leave. 

Of course, living alone hadn’t been the only selfish reason he had for giving the second room away, to Aaron specifically. But that had always been something he ignored, something he pretended didn’t exist in the way that it did. 

When Aaron had told him that his relationship had ended he did feel bad for him, knowing from years of seeing them together that Katelyn had been good for him, she helped him in ways none of the Foxes, Andrew included could. It had been fine, at the time, he only had a brain for Exy and Thea when he remembered that he was actually in a relationship, there wasn’t really anything that could fit into his head. Except history, but like Exy there would never be a limit on how much of that he could cram in there. But like all things, eventually they come to an end, and that end had been during his first year with the Texans. 

With a shake of his head he pushes every single thought out of his head, focusing on nothing but how tired his body actually was after an entire day of traveling. Reaching into the torn open box he grabs one of his blankets and heads back into the living room, flicking his light switch on the way out. Thankful for the moonlight lighting his path to the living room, he gets comfortable on the other section of the couch, tossing the blanket over him. 

Maybe Chicago would be different; he  _ hopes _ Chicago will be, anyway. 

The last thing he thinks about before falling asleep is scoring an impossible goal with Neil during the last seconds of a game. 

* * *

A lack of curtains was a bad idea in retrospect, but the bright sun filtering through the window isn’t what wakes him up that afternoon, it’s the punch to his rib cage, and then the simple. “I’m sick of hearing you snore. I’m trying to study.”

Kevin groans, curling into his left side, a hand pressing into the spot where Aaron had punched him; he may not have been as strong as Andrew, but he still packed a punch when he wanted too. “You could have just nudged me over.” 

“I did,” Aaron says, then pauses while he types something away on his laptop. “With my fist.” 

Kicking the blanket off his legs, Kevin sits up and stretches his arms above his head, arching his back until he hears the tell-tale pops of his spine readjusting. Sleeping on couches aren’t nearly as forgiving on his body as they used to be in college, that’s for damn sure; he wonders how the hell he managed to do this nearly every weekend for three years. “Insufferable.” He sighs, as he pushes himself up from the couch and heads into the kitchen to search for something to eat. 

Noting the time on the stove, he still has three hours before he needs to be at the United Center for a team meeting with the Warriors; his first meeting with his new team, a team that’s mostly been playing together for the past year or so. This season, to the best of his knowledge, he was the only new team member signed. Meeting people wasn’t what made him nervous, what made him nervous was that fact that he had to get readjusted to an entirely new team — sure he would work with just about anyone, but not everyone could work with him. 

“That shouldn’t be news to you.” Aaron finally responds, not looking up from the book he has open in his lap currently; Kevin doesn’t even need to glance at it to tell it’s something that would make his head spin. 

“Maybe I forgot.” 

Since Aaron and Andrew had graduated from Palmetto he hadn’t seen Aaron, every holiday since he left he’d been in Chicago or visiting Katelyn’s family in Washington. It’s been roughly two years since he’s seen him in person, never mind living with him. Considering Aaron is the only Fox he really keeps in normal contact with ( Neil and Andrew do not count, they’re more an extension of his sanity, than anything ) he hasn’t seen him in the longest amount of time. He’d spent time with Allison and Matt after games against their teams, and he’d seen Dan by proxy of Matt. Jack he’d seen more often, they were both Texans and even though he couldn’t stand him any more than he did in college it was good to have a familiar face. 

Looking into the fridge he’s surprised to see the amount of fruits and vegetables already filling the shelves and crisper. In fact, he’s surprised to see a number of things that Kevin prefers lining the doors and shelves, almost like he’d been the one to do the grocery shopping. 

Glancing around the door Kevin narrows his eyes at Aaron, who has no idea of anything going on around him, puzzled. 

“I have a meeting at the stadium at 3, but if you’re not busy maybe we can grab dinner tonight. Catch up or something.” He offers up, grabbing a bottle of water and heading back to the couch. Kevin throws himself into the corner, jostling Aaron and the book in his lap in the process. 

Aaron scowls, as both hands reach out to steady himself. “Catch up? What are you forty?” He asks, looking over at where Kevin is currently downing half of the bottle of water in his hand. “We talk basically all the time, what’s there to catch up on?” 

Off the top of his head Kevin can at least think of one, but he doesn’t dare say it out loud no matter how curious he is about the ending of Aaron’s relationship. He remembers the bets the Foxes used to make about them, the ongoing ones still hanging in the air: when they were going to get married, when they were going to have kids, which one of them would propose to whom. As far as he’s concerned, he, Andrew and Neil were the only ones aware of the termination of the relationship, and he knows for a fact they don’t know anything. Something had to have happened, relationships like theirs didn’t just suddenly fall apart. 

“My class gets out at around six tonight, I can pick you up after that, there’s this pub right outside of campus that’s pretty good, usually busy because everyone from campus goes there, but…” Aaron trails off, eyes focused back on the computer screen in front of him. “They have good food and cheap drinks.” 

Kevin raises his eyebrows, lips quirking into the smallest hint of a smile at that. “That works. I should be done by then, can’t imagine that it’ll be longer than three hours.” 

“Good, now shut up. I lost an entire day of studying because of your stupid movers yesterday. If I fail this exam next week I’m gonna find a way to break all of your racquets.” 

Both of his hands fly up in surrender, an easy laugh falling from his lips. “Okay, okay.” Kevin pushes himself up from the couch, deciding to unpack the boxes in his room to give Aaron some space to study in peace. 

* * *

The team meeting didn’t go as bad as he’d thought it was going to, but it was still not what he  _ wanted  _ it to be, which when concerning Kevin isn’t really a surprise. For a majority of his life nothing ever went how he planned, so by now he’s used to rolling with the punches; that still doesn’t mean that it doesn’t leave him disappointed. 

His phone buzzes in his pocket, distracting him from what Anna, one of his teammates is saying to him, but because he’s Kevin Day he ignores it in favor of keeping his attention on her. 

“I’m just really excited to finally be able to play on the same team as you, ya’know?” She smiles, tucking a lock of her blonde hair behind her ear, her hazel eyes sparkling something at him. 

“I’m very excited to be playing with all of you too, the Warriors are a great team with a great defense.” He offers, knowing her position as back liner. An easy media smile presents itself to her to seal the deal. The phone in his pocket buzzes again, a few times in a row. “Would you excuse me a moment?” 

Kevin slides his phone out noting the caller id, and quickly slides to accept the call. “Do you have a weird uncanny ability to always call me when I need it?” He asks, as he slips into the hall away from his teammate. 

“Guess it’s just one of my many talents.” Kevin can hear the smirk in Allison’s voice, he can hear  _ everything _ in her voice. “Heard from a little birdie that you have a roommate.” 

“Oh? And does that little birdie’s name start with an N?” Kevin asks, glancing up and down the hallway; out of everyone that he knows Allison is the only person that knows some of the more intimate details of Kevin’s life. She had perhaps been the most unlikely ally he’d ever had, but after a particularly rough patch with the media during his and Thea’s breakup, she was there to help him through it. Since then, they spend more of their talks spilling their secrets. 

Allison may be a gossip queen but never in his almost eight years of knowing her had she ever spilled a Fox secret to someone other than a Fox. 

“I don’t disclose my sources. They come to me in confidence, I can’t break that by telling you.” 

“So that’s a yes.” The only person who has a better relationship with Allison than Renee is Neil. 

“So a roommate, hm? Can’t believe you wouldn’t share this very vital information with me, I have bets riding on this information.” 

Kevin sighs, the image of her sitting in an oversized arm chair, filing her nails while her toes dry comes to mind. “For that very reason. Katelyn didn’t tell you herself?” He finds it extremely hard that the girls don’t already know of the demise of the KateAaron relationship. 

“That’s besides the point, I thought we were friends, Kevin. This is the kind of information that you share with your  _ friends _ .” She puts emphasis on the word friends like he’d somehow forgotten. Maybe sometimes he still does. 

“We’re done with this conversation. I have somewhere to be.” Checking his watch he notes it’s almost half past six and Aaron should be here to pick him up any minute now. 

“Kevin! Wait,” She lets on a huff on the other end, probably crossing her arms in front of her, annoyed with him. “Are you sure this is a good idea?” Allison questions, voice much softer than it had been earlier. “Living with him?” 

“It’s fine. I have to go, really.” Kevin doesn’t allow for her to respond to that, just hangs up and goes to collect his jacket. 

Of course, he spent every night since he offered the room to Aaron wondering whether it’d be a good idea, but it comes down to the simple fact that he’s gone this long pining for someone who would never feel the same, what’s a little longer. Feelings couldn’t last forever, anyway. 

Except for his love for Exy of course. 

Kevin bypasses a majority of his new teammates on his way out of the stadium, and waving a goodbye to the few that see him leaving. Exhaustion still sits heavy in his bones from the drive and flight the previous day; he just hadn’t realized how tired until just now. All he can hope for is that the dinner and drinks can manage to wake him up. 

**aaron:** i’m five minutes away 

**aaron:** and starving so don’t make me wait or i’ll leave you

**kevin:** and you try and say you and andrew aren’t one in the same 

**aaron:** i will kill you and dump you in an alleyway 

**kevin:** yeah yeah 

Kevin can’t help the ghost of a laugh that tickles its way across his lips at their exchange; somewhere he knows Allison is smirking because she just  _ knows _ . 

By the time he makes it outside, there’s a black Toyota Camry parked outside and a small blond man half hanging out the back window, with narrowed eyes fixed in his direction. Kevin half wants to slow down his stride, but he’s also hungry and even though he probably won’t be getting a salad, at this point he’d settle for anything — well, almost anything. “It barely took me five minutes.” 

“Four minutes and twenty seconds.” Aaron sinks back in through the open window, and pushes the door open for him. 

Kevin slips inside, shutting the door firmly behind him and sinking into the cloth seats. From where he’s sitting he can see the completely stunned expression on the drivers face, and the completely bored one on Aaron’s to his left. 

“Y-your —” 

“Yes he’s Kevin Day, and no he won’t give you his autograph.” Aaron doesn’t bother looking away from where his eyes are currently focused on something outside the window. 

This isn’t anything new, nine times out of ten he ends up with a Lyft driver that’s starstruck, or a barista or waiter, it comes with the territory, really. Usually, it’s exhausting, always wearing his media smile, offering to sign things and take pictures with them. Don’t get him wrong, he doesn’t mind the pictures, the questions the signatures; but sometimes,  _ sometimes _ . 

Sometimes he forgets that Aaron actually couldn't care less about Exy, and not in the same way that Andrew doesn’t care. Aaron just really, doesn’t care. It had always been a means to an end for him. So now, it’s easy for him to shut down the looks like these, because to Aaron all Kevin had been, was a broken bird turned fox who slept on his couch after nights of drinking his liver into an early retirement. Aaron hadn’t ever looked at him like the star everyone else did. 

That doesn’t mean he’s able to so easily push away the years of drilled in media facade, however, he still frowns in the direction of the driver as they take off onto the road. “I’ll give you one if you really one.” From the corner of his vision he sees Aaron cross his arms over his chest, and sink further into his seat. It puzzles him. 

“Would you really?” The driver asks, glancing up into the rearview mirror before quickly looking back at the road. “I usually don’t have this kind of luck.” He laughs a little, gripping harder onto the wheel. “I’ve been a fan for such a long time.” 

Aaron looks over at him, stone faced and mouths to him. “Yeah, would you really?” 

It takes all Kevin’s self-control to not laugh right there in the back seat. “Yeah, I don’t mind.” He offers with a smile, trying his best to ignore Aaron’s mocking to his left. 

The drive there really doesn’t take long, not with the time passing with all the questions the driver, whom Kevin has learned is named Luke had been asking him: about his decision to play for Palmetto, why he chose the Texans, why he signed to the Warriors, if he liked cats or dogs better, if he ever wanted to play another position. Through all the questions Kevin can’t help but notice that with each and ever single response he gives Luke Aaron sinks further into his seat, his arms cross higher on his chest, and his jaw sets hard every time. 

When they arrive at the restaurant Kevin does as he promised, signing the back of some random receipt Luke found in his front seat, while Aaron gets out of the car faster than Kevin had ever seen him do. After bidding him a goodnight with a smile he hands the paper and pen back to Luke and gets out of the car himself, duffle slung over his shoulder. 

“You’re infuriating.” Aaron begins, not even looking at where Kevin has stepped up to him. “Nauseating.” 

Not something Kevin isn’t used to hearing about him. Not even the first time that Aaron has used those words toward him, 

It is however, the first time that Kevin can’t figure out  _ why _ . 

But he doesn’t get a chance to ask because Aaron punches him in the side, much like he did this morning, and takes off inside the restaurant leaving Kevin clutching his side and wondering what the hell that was about.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> yes, i am a huge lover of neil/allison and kevin/allison friendships so i'm going to indluge myself to the high heavens with it. 
> 
> so sorry that this isn't just one day but two promises days later. but i had a night of writing where i couldn't decide where i wanted to go, so thank you jade and betta for helping me decide, ya'll are the best. i'm hoping i can get back on the sunday schedule of updating, but i also kinda wanna try and get out a christmas/holiday themed something over the next two-three days just because i adore holiday themed things. 
> 
> also, i just wanted to give all of you guys a huge thanks for the response to this fic thus far, it really means so much to mean each and every time i see another kudos or bookmark or comment. you guys are wonderful and i treasure each and everyone of you. i hope you're all having or have had a good holiday ~


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> back to good ole' aaron ~

Aaron had always been so sure of himself, sure of who he was, sure of whom he liked, sure of what he wanted to do, where he wanted to be, and whom he wanted to surround him. Very slowly, in the span of two weeks, nearly everything he’d been so sure of in the past has come crumbling down, and it’s all thanks to one person: 

Kevin Day.

“Aaron?” Kevin’s voice breaks him out of the trance he was in, staring off into a spot just above Kevin’s shoulder. “I’ve been asking if you wanted peppers and spinach with your eggs. Yes or No?” 

_ Right, breakfast _ . 

“Sure.” 

Katelyn used to make him breakfast, in her fuzzy pink pajama pants and one of his shirts or an old Vixen shirt she’d held onto, with her hair pulled into a messy bun on the top of her head. She’d always just make him whatever she felt like that morning, sometimes eggs, sometimes pancakes or French toast, sometimes with avocados or fruit. With a cup of coffee made just the way he liked it, sitting on the small table in their kitchen, just big enough for the two of them. He remembers waking up to the smell of powdered sugar melting on her French toast, while a warm measuring cup of syrup waited for him, with a banana cut up on the side. 

Kevin is not wearing pink fuzzy pajama pants, and he’s not wearing one of Aaron’s shirts, and while his hair may be pulled into a messy bun on the top of his head he’s using a regular elastic and not a scrunchie. Instead of making him whatever he felt like, he’d asked Aaron this morning when he’d walked out of his room bleary-eyed, with a cup of steaming coffee just the way he liked it waiting for him on the counter. It wasn’t pancakes, but he remembered that Aaron hates mushrooms and onions, even went as far as making their breakfasts in two separate pans because of it. There was even toast waiting to be toasted in the toaster. 

He wonders if Katelyn asks Jett what he wants for breakfast. 

Ever since their dinner two weeks ago Aaron has been in a tailspin. The car ride from the stadium had cracked something in him that he didn’t realize was able to crack; and two weeks later he’s still trying to figure out what that  _ something _ is. The only thing he knows for sure was that listening to Kevin talk to their driver about Exy, and answering all of his questions instead of paying attention to him had made him annoyed. That alone had been so out of character for him, who on any other occasion, would beg for people to ignore him in situations; however, now, the idea of being ignored by Kevin stings. 

The smell of egg whites with spinach and peppers draws his attention back to the present; drifting off so long he didn’t realize Kevin toasted their bread and topped off his coffee. It’s not plated in any special way, just placed on the plate, the napkins aren’t folded and his coffee isn’t in some special cup for a certain day of the week. There’s no  _ breakfast is served _ and a smile that breaks his face punctuated with a kiss to his cheek. Instead, there’s a warm body next to him, a comfortable space between their arms and the smell of something warm and woody with a hint of something sweet. 

Until now, he hadn’t realized how hungry he was, his stomach growls urging him into taking a bite containing eggs, spinach and a pepper slice. It’s surprisingly good, the peppers have just the right amount of crunch, and there’s a perfect amount of garlic with the spinach. “I had no idea you could cook.”

“Well I didn’t have a cafeteria to go down to in Texas, so I had to learn.” Kevin shrugs beside him, taking a bite of his own breakfast. When his left hand returns to the counter top he lets go of his fork to flex his hand. 

Not missing a beat, and abandoning his second bite, Aaron asks. “Is it bothering you?” Honey eyes drifting between the scar on Kevin’s hand and up to his face. 

“Just a bit, nothing a lit — “ 

Aaron doesn’t mean to cut off Kevin’s sentence when he angles himself to face him and takes his left hand between both of his, gently working his thumbs into the center of his palm. When he’d originally taken up researching hand cramping, and how to combat the effects he’d done it with the idea that he and Katelyn were both studying to be surgeons and surely, they’d have days when their hands would bother them. But now that Kevin’s here, he might as well do it for him instead; it can’t hurt to work on his skills, after all. 

He can feel green pools staring at him, lips parted in what he thinks is the beginnings of a question, but he can’t be sure. All he knows is that the light dusting of pink on his cheeks is because of how intense Kevin’s eyes feel on him and nothing else. 

“How does that feel?” His voice comes out a bit softer than he intended, he makes sure to clear his throat, still avoiding looking at Kevin, but his thumbs don’t stop moving. Aaron begins to move the pads of his thumbs from the bottom of Kevin’s palms, and up toward the top; just gentle enough. 

“G-Good.” Aaron’s voice isn’t the only one that sounds softer, Kevin’s voice comes out sounding far away despite him being less than a foot in distance. “Thank you.”

Letting go of Kevin’s hand, Aaron folds his own in his lap and clears his throat. “Not a problem.” Trying not to think about what he’d just done, he turns back to the counter and shoves a bite of eggs into his mouth, counting the number of chews he makes before having to swallow. He tries to ignore Kevin beside him, who hasn’t looked over in his direction since they both turned back to their plates. 

It had been  _ nothing _ , just trying to help out Kevin’s injured hand; he’d been around long enough to know that it bothers him on occasion despite it being healed, and that sometimes ice and rest doesn’t always work. When he’d reached out to help massaging the inside of his palm it had been purely to help him, so why does he feel like he did before he asked Katelyn out for the first time? Massaging Kevin’s hand shouldn’t have made him feel like  _ that _ . 

**_Kevin_ ** shouldn’t make him feel like that. 

A boy shouldn’t make him feel like that. 

Aaron makes a point to avoid Kevin for the rest of breakfast, heading straight into his room when he’s finished and not coming out until he hears Kevin leave for practice later on. 

* * *

Marisol’s Café isn’t the best job under the sun, he much rather be back at Eden’s busing tables, at least he was able to sneak a shot or some crackers every once in a while. But being a barista is much more exhausting than carrying around a bucket full of empty cups and wiping down sticky tables; at least he didn’t have to paste on a fake smile to greet customers. Also, he didn’t have to see Katelyn with her perfect smile and bouncy ponytail. 

“Hey! Welcome to Marisol’s what can I get for you today.” She asks with a smile to the customer in line.

Aaron has his back turned, trying his best to not only ignore her but look busy enough that no one asks him to do anything. After his morning breakfast fiasco he’s really not in the mood to be serving people their morning coffee while he might be on the verge of a sexuality crisis. 

“Coming right up.” 

He wasn’t gay, he was in love with Katelyn for years ( still is, if he’s being honest ); he’d never even looked at another guy before, at least not looked at them with the thought that he’d like to kiss them. Or anything else for that matter. It's always been girls, even in high school it was only ever girls. Massaging Kevin’s hand should not have made his cheeks warm, Kevin looking at him shouldn’t have made that happen either. 

Hell, he shouldn’t even be thinking about any of this. It should have been just a friend helping a friend and that was it, they both went back to their breakfast conversations and that was the end. 

Aaron huffs as he scrubs at the back counter with a wet rag, cleaning up some spilled vanilla bean and matcha powdered from the wood. Cursing himself internally for his brains’ current dilemma. 

“Coffee for….” There’s a pause from one of the other baristas as they try and read what’s written on the side of the cup. “King.”

“Thanks.” The voice is as smooth as a knife cutting through butter. Sharp. 

“His parents could not have actually named him that.” His co-worker Mason says to him as he joins him near the back counter. 

The sound of the man's voice jogged something deep in Aaron’s gut; but he ignores it and shrugs at Mason’s comment. “Welcome to Hollywood and their stupid fucking ideas of good names.” 

“Hey Mason, can you help out at the counter?” Katelyn asks, popping up behind him with a smile on her face. “I need to talk to Aaron really quick.”

Aaron told himself he was allowed two instances of being petty toward Katelyn for what she’d done to him; he weighs the pros and cons of using up his second one right now, but decides against it. He doesn’t need to look like more of an asshole than he actually is at his workplace, he does need this job after all and his boss has a soft spot for Katelyn. So instead he huffs and crosses his arms across his chest like a child and hopes she can tell that he would rather be anywhere but here right now. 

“I think we need to talk.” Katelyn leans her hip against the back counter, drumming her fingers against the top. “About a lot of things, actually.” 

“News to me, I don’t think we need to talk about anything. In fact everything is so good, we don’t need to talk to each other ever again.” Aaron turns to walk away, but the gentle hand on his bicep stops him. 

“I,” Katelyn pauses, sucking in a breath. “I don’t like how things ended between us. We should have talked about things before I….went ahead and did what I did.”

“So basically you’re forcing me into listening to you attempt an apology during work where I can’t escape because you want to clear your guilty conscience?” He asked, glancing over his shoulder. “Or are things with Jett not going well, and you want me back? Either way, no, thanks.” 

The look on Katelyn’s face touched a nerve somewhere in his chest, deep and sharp; she looks upset, more so than he’s ever seen in the entire time that he’s known her. Part of him actually feels hurt by it, the part of him that still loves her. That will  _ always _ love her. But it’s unfair to him to care how hurt she looks when she didn’t even have a sorry look on her face when she kicked him on his ass for her new boyfriend. Why should he care whether she’s feeling sorry now? After a month. 

“You don’t have to be so cruel.” She says back, quiet, not able to meet his eyes. 

“Neither did you.” Aaron says without missing a beat. “Now if you’ll excuse me I have to go work, I have a Netflix account to pay for.”

* * *

The smell of fresh pasta ravioli fills the apartment, making Aaron’s stomach growl; he hadn’t realized how hungry he was until he started cooking their dinner. In the steamer a mix of vegetables was almost done, and a homemade garlic butter sauce was simmering in a small pan. Aaron might not have been the greatest cook, but he does know a great place to buy fresh vegetables and homemade pasta. 

“Smells good.” Kevin hums, drying his hair off with the towel in his hand, droplets of water dripping down his neck and over the planes of his chest. 

Aaron notices a bit too much, the way the water follows the lines of Kevin’s abs. “Put on a fucking shirt. I don’t wanna see that while I’m eating.” He huffs out instead, taking the pasta pan to the sink to drain. Though he feels like whatever came out of his mouth is a bit of a lie, which aggravates him. 

“Alright, alright.” But Kevin is laughing as he says it, pulling on the shirt he had in his other hand. “Sorry, still forget sometimes that I’m not living alone. Especially when that person is so quiet.” 

With a glare in Kevins direction Aaron shakes the water out of the pasta drainer. “I could be much louder if you’d want.” 

Through a laugh, Kevin says. “I’ve known you for how long now? You’re never loud.” He says as he slides onto one of the bar stools, forearms folded on the counter in front of him, leaning on them. 

Sure, he’s not loud when he’s been around Kevin, or any of the other Foxes or his family; but he can promise anyone that he  _ can _ be loud. Just, Kevin didn’t need to know that; but Aaron can’t figure out why he needs to fight his brain to mouth filter because that’s the only thing that wants to come out of it. Instead he turns his attention back to their dinner turning off the rest of the burners and grabbing some plates. 

Sexuality had never been something that he struggled with, while everyone else around him had their questions Aaron had always been one hundred percent sure that women were for him. Katelyn had been his end all be all, the one he was going to spend the rest of his life with, there had never been a question. Now he’s thinking about water dripping down Kevin’s abs and wanting to make him aware of how loud Aaron can be. Was this all a fever dream? Had he fallen and hit his head, and now he was in a coma and this was all made up in his head? 

When he plates their dinner he makes sure to give Kevin more vegetables and less butter sauce and he gives himself more pasta and more butter sauce, and picks out all his mushrooms to give to Kevin. 

Why couldn’t he have a sexuality crisis over someone he hasn’t known for almost eight years, and lived with for two years. Why couldn’t it be over someone in one of his classes, or someone he saw at work. No, it had to be pro-Exy star Kevin Day, who is loved by everyone and thinks being gay in sports is the worst thing that could happen. Also, who is straight as Aaron thought he was. 

“Dinner is served.” 

Kevin’s eyes grow about twice their size as they see the amount of vegetables on the plate. “Perfectly bright green broccoli.”

Why did he have to have a sexuality crisis over someone who's so happy over perfectly green broccoli? Aaron could bang his hand against a wall if it wouldn’t raise so many questions. 

“Well yeah otherwise you cook all the nutrients out.” Aaron hops up onto the counter top, leaning himself back against the upper cabinets, from where he’s sitting he can perfectly see the little laugh Kevin lets out at his comment. 

Dinner is relatively quiet, Aaron eats most of his dinner with his head back against the cabinets, eyes forward not in avoidance of Kevin but in his own thoughts. Which he supposes could be considered avoidance; but he supposes he’s allowed to avoid things every once in a while. 

This whole crisis, he thinks, could be contributed to the fact that Katelyn broke up with him; these feelings, or whatever they were, were just a rebound feeling and Kevin just so happened to be there. None of it was Kevin specific. He just happened to be in the wrong place at the wrong time; the first person that had been there to give him something after everything was ripped out from under him. 

But maybe, just maybe it wasn’t rebound feelings at all. Something Nicky had mentioned to him on the phone a couple weeks ago rings out like an echo in his head. 

“Why don’t you and Katelyn like each other?” Aaron’s head lolls to the side, his now empty dish placed on the side of him. 

It almost looks to Aaron as if the color has drained from Kevin’s face; like he’d just seen a ghost. The question was simple enough, he isn’t sure why it made Kevin look at him like that. What had Nicky been onto? He was so sure that the reason they didn’t like each other was some silly reason, like Katelyn had distracted him from Exy or something along those lines. But why would that make the color drain from his face like that? Why would it still matter now that Aaron wasn’t even playing the sport anymore? 

Kevin’s phone buzzes on the counter top, making a loud noise as it moves across the granite. One look at the phone and Kevin sighs, reaching for it and getting up to leave the room. “I gotta take this.” 

Once he’s out of the room Aaron lets his head fall back against the cabinets, letting out a breath of air from his lungs. It seems the universe doesn’t want him to know the answer to that question, and maybe he doesn’t. There are already too many questions mulling around in his head: why Katelyn wanted to talk to him, does he really find Kevin attractive, are these feelings he’s been having rebound feelings, why is he even having these feelings in the first place. Does he really need to add this to the mix?

Instead, he pulls his phone out of his pocket and pulls up his messages, scrolling until he finds the conversation he wants. 

**aaron:** how did you know you were gay?

**nicky:** idk i guess i just always knew? maybe when everyone was freaking out bout meg in hercules and i couldn’t care less about her? 

**nicky:** y do u ask? u never asked b4???

**aaron:** no reason 

**nicky:** aaron i’ve known u ur whole life?? u have never once asked me anything like that b4

**nicky:** u literally avoid the subject of andrew and i liking boys all the time

**nicky:** now ur asking me about it???

**nicky** : OMG is this one of those kidnapping things? and ur asking about something u never would so i kno ur in danger??

**nicky:** AARON OMG R U OK ?????

**aaron:** i’m fine you idiot 

**aaron:** i said no reason jesus 

**aaron:** it’s just a fucking question

**nicky:** ...okay

**nicky:** u kno u can talk to me if u need too

**nicky:** i’m always gunna luv u no matter wut

**aaron** : goodnight nicky 

Aaron slips the phone back into his pocket, and slams his head back against the cabinet doors one more time before jumping off and cleaning up the kitchen, doing his very best to ignore the whirlwind inside his chest. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i apologize for the delay in updates, the holidays took a lot out of me and with working extra shifts i was so damn tired by the time i had time to write. but i'm feeling better now, and a tad more rested so hopefully we can get back on a schedule! i also apologize for the minimal kevaaron interaction in this chapter but i promise you there will be more in the next one. 
> 
> also i would like to thank adrianna for making a tweet a bit ago about nicky's favorite movie being hercules, because immediately my brain went to "oh he totally didn't give a single shit about meg.", and hence the text exchange with aaron. i would also like to say that i'm sorry about katelyn, i don't canonly think of her like this, i actually love her but for the sake of this fic i had to villianize her a bit. ilu tho katelyn xo 
> 
> as always i appericate every single one of you and i hope that you're as excited as i am for this fic to really get rolling.   
> xoxo mer


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> tw: very brief mentions of murder

Turns out that texting Nicky was not the safe bet, in fact Aaron is fairly certain now that asking Andrew would have been a safer bet than his cousin at this point; ever since he’d asked him a few days ago Nicky has been sending him more texts than usual. If it wasn’t about how he was feeling, it was what he was doing, was he seeing anyone, how Kevin was doing, whether Katelyn had reached out to him. But those weren’t the ones that got him, the ones that got him where the articles he’d send about discovering sexuality, or the book recommendations for him to check out. Of course Aaron has ignored each and every single one of Nicky’s texts, which is a gamble because knowing his cousin the phone calls will start to come and with the time difference he can only imagine what time he’ll be getting woken up. 

“Aaron, can we get Hulu? Apparently there’s a whole docuseries about Ancient Egypt.” Kevin glances up from his phone, a hopeful expression on his face, all wrapped in a chunky, fuzzy knit cream blanket from Allison. 

The look in Kevin’s face makes something warm blossom in Aaron’s chest, so much so that he has to force himself to look away from him and back to the TV screen in front of him. “I mean I don’t see why not.” He exits the Netflix app on their TV with the remote and searches for the Hulu one to begin signing up. From the corner of his eye he can see Kevin watching him like a hawk, green eyes flickering from Aaron to the TV and back again. It’s unnerving. “Yes?” Aaron asks, an eyebrow raised as he inputs his credit card information. 

“Nothing, I just expected more of a fuss.” Kevin shrugs, tossing his phone on the cushion between the two of them, ignoring the next two vibrations and the lit up screen of an incoming text. “Getting soft in your old age?” 

“Why am I going to put up a fuss? It’s a streaming service. Plus,” He begins, as he presses the continue button and watches as the screen loads. “Now I get to force you to watch LetterKenny with me.”

“Letter what now?” 

“Worry about it later.” Aaron scrolls through the genres until he comes across the documentaries and begins looking for the one Kevin had mentioned. He knows Kevin has an important team press conference in a few hours, and he has to work, but he figures they can both get in an episode or two before they both have to go. 

Ancient Egypt isn’t exactly something that he’s interested in, if he’s going to choose a History documentary it’s going to be on Greek or Roman history before anything else, but lately Kevin has been into the pyramids so that’s what they’re watching. In fact lately he’s been thinking, and doing, a lot of things that he normally wouldn’t because Kevin has asked him too. Every morning that he doesn’t have class the two of them go for a run around the neighborhood, he’s gotten rid of eating egg yolks, eats fat-free yogurt, has more chicken and vegetables than he ever has in the past. It really never truly hit him until just now all the things he’s given up without a fight. 

Kevin’s gaze might be glued on what’s on the screen in front of them, some reenacted scene of a pharaoh walking up to a grand outdoor area to give a speech to his people, but Aaron is looking straight through the TV screen. 

After his text to Nicky three nights ago he had been doing some serious soul-searching, or as much soul-searching as he could manage with Nicky’s constant texts, Kevin’s constant existence and the ever looming midterms on his horizon. If he wasn’t stressed enough with classes and labs, this new development was sure doing the trick. In all of his  _ searching _ he had come up empty: none of the guys that he worked with piqued his interest, none of the guys in his classes did anything for him, he hadn’t thought of them in any capacity. Whatever he was feeling for Kevin he’s determined that it must be some kind of rebound feelings. 

It has to be. 

It  **has** to.

“You asked about why Katelyn and I didn't get along the other night.” Kevin breaks through his haze of thoughts, jolting Aaron a bit with the unexpectedness of it. “I never got around to telling you, you kinda holed up studying after that, and I didn’t want to disturb you.” 

He hadn’t been studying, he’d been laying in bed staring at the ceiling and contemplating his entire life up until that point. 

“She just didn’t, I don’t know why.” Kevin shrugged, finally looking away from the screen and over at Aaron, the left side of his face pressed against the back of the couch. “Always figured it was because I was such a hard ass about Exy or how I was always on your ass about practice or whatever.” This time he shrugs, but all Aaron can focus on is how cute Kevin looks with his cheek squished a bit and his hair falling into his face. 

**_Fuck._ **

Knowing Katelyn there had to have been more to it than that, there’s no one that someone like her wouldn’t get along with Kevin just because he was a bit of a dick about practicing Exy. It wasn’t like she wasn’t aware of what was going on when she first met him, and by then she should have known that he had a one track mind. Something in Aaron wants to press for information, but maybe Kevin isn’t the right person to ask. Maybe he has to go to the source directly and ask her, after all it isn’t like she has a stake in it anymore she doesn’t need to see Kevin again, there’s no need for her to lie. 

They’re both working at the coffee shop later today, he’ll have to ask her point-blank. It’s the least she can do after everything that she put him through. Even if he has to offer to listen to whatever bullshit she wanted to spout at him the other day, he just  _ really _ wants to know. 

“That’s it?” He asks, an eyebrow raised in question, but he doesn’t push instead he just shrugs his shoulders. 

“Unless she has some underlying reason for hating me, not like there’s much I could think of it isn’t like I ever spent any time with her really.” Kevin gives him a shrug of his own shoulders and turns his attention back to the screen. 

“Fair enough. You were a tough guy to like back then.” Aaron snickers, pulling his own blanket up further around him; this one the same type of chunky, fuzzy knit blanket only this one in a light gray, also from Allison. 

“Like you were any better.” Kevin returns with a matching snicker, rubbing at a spot on his jaw. “If anyone looked at you the wrong way you were ready to rip them a new asshole.” 

“Still am, better watch out Day. You might be next.” 

The two of them look at each other at this, both of them quiet for a beat, then another before they’re both bursting out laughing at each other. Aaron isn’t quite sure how the two of them, the two Foxes who were written off as next to nothing, found their way here. 

“Press conferences and team meeting shouldn’t go past six, but when we get home we can order something in, and you can show me whatever this LetterKenny is.”

Aaron pauses for a moment to mull the offer over. “Can we order pizza?”

Kevin deflates, but there’s a ghost of a smile on his face. “You’re killing me.”

“Perfect. Pizza and LetterKenny it is.”

* * *

Working the second shift at the coffee-shop was always a toss up, sometimes they were dead, and sometimes they were left with just standing room only. Today was the latter; apparently all the jocks from the nearby college decided to stop by the shop to watch the Warriors press conference on the TV in the sitting area. Usually the news or some soap operas played on the TV for the elderly population that spent their time here doing crossword puzzles, but ever since he came in this afternoon ESPN was on. 

Apparently even at work he couldn’t escape Kevin Day and Exy. 

After the lack of answers he received from Kevin regarding his relationship with Katelyn he decided to head to the source; if that’s really all it was, but knowing Katelyn back then he really felt like there had to be something else. Why it bothered him to no end now, why it nagged at the back of his head every minute he wasn’t having a sexuality crisis he wouldn’t be able to say. That was just as confusing to him as everything else he was currently going through. It shouldn’t matter, Katelyn was no longer in his life and whatever it was wouldn’t come up again. 

Mason was running the register, another co-worker, Wyatt, was working the small kitchen in the back for their limited menu with their manager and he and Katelyn were tasked with making the drinks. Which was perfect for him because it meant the two of them would be working side by side and could, probably, manage a conversation between it all. When they were together, and they were both working the front they’d quiz each other for their classes between customers; it’d just be like old times. 

Grabbing one of the cups for a latte he goes about getting the espresso machine going, and as he steams the milk bites the bullet. “I’ll listen to whatever bullshit you were trying to talk about the other day if you tell me why you and Kevin don’t get along.” 

The silence between them stretches on a moment too long, Aaron thinks that maybe she changed her mind completely and doesn’t care enough to talk about whatever she wanted to the other day. But she puts the top on a hot tea she had been making, sends it onto the pick-up counter with a call of the name on the cup, and she turns to him, one hand on her hip. “Are you kidding me?”

Aaron doesn’t kid, she of all people should know this. 

“You’re the one that busted in here the other day, basically cornering me to talk, and now you don’t want to?” Finishing up the latte he puts the top on, places a drink stopper in the top and slides it onto the pick-up counter without calling for a name. “Or is it because I’m asking for something and return?”

The both of them reach for another cup, Aaron grabs two of the same and begins to mix together an iced chai latte, while Katelyn works on making some kind of complicated latte. It’s quite between them as they focus on their drinks. He finishes before her, calls out the name on the cups and takes stock of the amount of tables that need to be cleaned. 

“Maria!” Katelyn calls. “Have a nice day.” Her smile is infectious, Aaron watches as the woman who comes to grab her drink smiles at her in return. When she turns to him the smile disappears, she looks just like she did the day she kicked him out of their apartment. “I break up with you, kick you out of the apartment. Hell, I cheated on you Aaron and you want to ask me about why I don’t like your friend?” 

Again they both go back for cups, working on a couple more before they get another chance to go at each other; which is fine, Aaron isn’t sure he’s going to get what he wants out of her to begin with. 

“Nothing else you have to say to me is going to make me feel any different from I do right now.” Aaron says, as he adds four pumps of raspberry syrup to the cup in his hand. “You cheated on me, you broke my trust in you. You of all people should know that I don’t give second chances out, so whatever you came in here the other day to tell me is because you feel guilty.” 

Katelyn doesn’t say anything to that, but her shoulders fall as she finishes up making her drink. “Oh you can’t give me a second chance, but you can give Andrew one.” Her voice may be quite so only he can hear it, but it’s laced with a venom that he’s never tasted from her before. 

Once, many nights ago, when Aaron was better at opening up to her, when things were better between them he’d told her what actually happened to his mother. The night had felt like it passed by in slow motion, and come morning most of what they talked about Aaron didn’t remember but he remembered that. That night, that admission to her was what had her suggesting therapy; and what made him decide to actually go and actually get the best out of it. 

Katelyn hadn’t been happy with him after that, from keeping something like that from her; in fact she hadn’t been happy about any of the Minyards for not doing something about it. For months whenever Aaron would mention Andrew (  _ which was already so few and far between  _ ) she would become increasingly angry at the mention of his name. 

He knows that she means if Aaron could give Andrew a second chance after killing their mother that he should be able to give her one after she cheated on him. 

The only difference is Andrew killed their mother to protect Aaron and Katelyn cheated on him because she wanted to; or well, it doesn’t matter why she did it, all he knows is she didn’t do it to  _ protect  _ him. 

“Oh, so you’re telling me that you cheated on me to protect me then? Is that why I should give you a second chance? Well okay then.” 

“Y'know what? You're asking about why I don’t like Kevin is  _ exactly _ why we’re not together anymore.” Aaron can’t help the roll of his eyes as she walks away from where he is to finish making her drink. 

The majority of their shift is spent avoiding each other as much as possible, whenever they do have to get near each other for something Katelyn makes sure to avoid looking in his direction as much as possible. Honestly, she’s acting like he’s the one that cheated on her and not the other way around. But he doesn’t let it bother him, he had a feeling that he wasn’t going to get what he wanted and her cheating on him hadn’t affected his work/school balance thus far. 

As the shift begins to slow down, he can hear the group of athletes cheering as the Warriors coach begins to close out on his speech. Their voices are too loud for Kevin to hear what he’s saying on screen, not like it matters anyway, Aaron still doesn’t care about Exy more than he needs to. Plus, he’s sure he’ll hear all about it from Kevin later tonight. 

“Damn wish I could hear what was going on.” Mason says from where he’s standing next to him, waiting for another drink to make. Katelyn traded off with him about an hour ago, no doubt to get away from Aaron. Every so often Mason tries to get closer to the counter that’s closest to the TV, or peers around Aaron to get a look at the screen. It makes Aaron want to roll his eyes so hard they get stuck in his head. 

“It’s just Exy, who cares.” 

The gasp that comes out of Mason’s mouth sounds like Aaron had just stabbed him right in the chest. “How can you say that? Your brother is literally the  _ best _ goalie.”

Really he and Andrew just  _ had _ to be twins. The first time he met Mason he’d stood there staring at him, open-mouthed and speechless because he thought he was Andrew. 

“Like I said, it’s just Exy.” 

But suddenly,  **_so_ ** suddenly the entire café gets quiet. 

The voice coming from the TV is able to be heard, a sharp one that cuts like a hot knife through Aaron’s entire being. The hair on the back of his neck pricks up, he can  _ feel _ the goosebumps on his arms from under his shirt; it feels like the air has been knocked out of his lungs, like a dark cloud just appeared over his head. 

That voice, the one from the other day.

“Aaron.” There’s a gentle hand on his bicep: Katelyn. “Aaron.” 

Four years of college that was supposed to be nothing but a minor headache with the added annoyance of being required to play Exy had turned into four years of a nightmare he wishes he could have woken up from. It pushed not only him, but all the Foxes to their absolute limits and while nothing would ever compare to his sophomore year, the last two hadn’t been much better. It had been a constant nightmare, a constant feeling that they all needed to look over their shoulders, a reminder every game night that it wasn’t just a game to some people. What they were pushed to do, pushed to deal with for those years was unlike anything Aaron had ever had to deal with. More than he’d ever have to in the future.

Or so he’d thought.

“Oh shit the Warriors are gonna be unstoppable. Kevin Day  _ and _ Riko Moriyama playing as strikers together again? Fuck, I’m so pumped for this season!” Mason looks at the screen with stars in his eyes. 

Aaron turns around to see the screen, to confirm with his own eyes that it is indeed Riko standing there, and it is with his perfectly tailored black suit, and fake smile that could cut diamonds. 

“Is that…” Katelyn’s voice trails off as the camera pans closer to his face and Aaron feels his blood run cold even before she opens her mouth again. “Is that a King piece?” Aaron sees  **red** .

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry this chapter was a bit shorter than the others, the next one will be longer and as you may have all guessed after the ending of this one will be kevin-centric. it might also not be out in a week because i really need this next chapter to capture a certain feeling and i want to take my time with it to get it right. i also warned everyone from the first chapter that riko wasn't dead; i wonder how many of you thought it might have been him that showed up last chapter. 
> 
> this chapter is the top of the cliff for both aaron and kevin ( chapter 6 will take off immediately after the ending of this chapter just from kevin's point of view, for a heads up ), it's going to make things a little messy for them, but also where they may or may not stop sitting with their heads in their asses and actually do something. the foxes may also make some surprise appearances now, so look forward to seeing some of them pop in. each of them will help kevin and aaron in their own ways; some of them more than others. i'm very excited to continue on from here because this is where the real shit is gonna take place. 
> 
> i also want to say that from here on out the tags will change, some may be added as chapters go out, but i will always include any added tags at the beginning of the chapters as a heads up; likewise, if i don't tag something that triggers you please let me know in the comments so that i can make adjustments. 
> 
> i would also like to thank you from the bottom of my heart for the continued support i've been getting on this fic, you guys really have no idea how much it means. so, again, thank you so much guys xoxo.


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> aye, welcome to the beginning of kevin's downfall.

The thing about secrets is that the longer you keep them the easier it is for them to kill you. 

Unfortunately for Kevin, he’s learning that the hard way. 

All around him, he watches as his fellow teammates look on with stars in their eyes, as the reporters hang on his every last word, how their coach is looking at him like he’s the key to winning this season. He watches as everyone around him looks at Riko like the king that he’s always said that he was. 

Suddenly.

So suddenly. 

So, **_so_ ** suddenly, Kevin is back in the Nest surrounded by people that are more than happy to lay down their life for the man standing at the podium. Every feeling of inadequacy he’d ever felt over the years beginning to bubble up from the tips of his toes to the center of his chest. 

He can’t even focus on the words Riko is saying, he can’t focus on whatever Anna is whispering in his ear to his left, he can understand the look plastered on Jordan’s face to the right. It’s like he’s underwater, like his ears are blocked, like everyone around him is speaking a language he’s never heard of. 

_Kevin’s back to his last year at Palmetto, in one of the basement rooms star fished in the middle of the room, Aaron sitting next to him one of his legs crossed at the knee in front of him, the other one pressing into Kevin’s hip. Their shared bottle of vodka half empty between the two of them. Somewhere outside the room the rest of their team and the Vixens are celebrating their win, the one that means they’re going to the Spring Championships._

_It’s Kevin’s last collegiate game before he packs up and moves to Dallas to play with the Texans for his first pro-team. The last game he’s going to play with Aaron, ever. There will be more than enough chances to play with Andrew or Neil or Allison or Matt; but for him Aaron is done after this._

_“You should speak up.”_

_Kevin turns his head toward Aaron, raising a brow in his direction, which takes a lot of considering he’s the one that’s drank the majority of that vodka. “What’s that supposed to mean?”_

_“About Riko.”_

_At that Kevin turns his head away, staring back up at the ceiling electing to ignore whatever else comes out of Aaron’s mouth. They’ve been over this multiple times, in this exact room after games, after practices, during the middle of the day. It wasn’t the first time, and it wasn’t going to be the last time that Aaron insisted Kevin spoke up about what happened at the Nest, what really happened to his hand. More than little hints and code for people to decipher on their own. It wouldn’t be the first time that Aaron told Kevin to let his story be his own._

_Aaron wraps his hand around the neck of the bottle and brings it to his lips, keeping his eyes on Kevin the entire time he drinks. Not wincing at the burn once. When he’s done he returns the bottle to the floor, farther away from the two of them than it was previously._

_“Secrets will kill you if you keep them silent for too long.”_

_“Sounds ominous.”_

_Kevin can feel the way Aaron’s socked toes press into his hip, but not in the way he’d been expecting; it wasn’t rough, it wasn’t a deceleration of war, it was softer, it was calming. It was different._

_“I’m over keeping secrets, what about you?”_

_He takes a moment to think about it. To weight the pros and cons of coming forward with all the deep dark things he’d experienced while he was at the Nest. About explaining the truth about just how he broke his hand other than a I’ve never been skiing . It doesn’t matter though, not at all. Not when the next thing he realizes is Aaron bent over, inches away from his face. His fingers are surprisingly soft where they brush over his own check, honey eyes focused on nothing but him._

_And then they’re kissing._

_It’s soft and slow despite the alcohol that’s no doubt fueling this. And of course Kevin kisses him back, of course he reaches up to curl a hand around the side of Aaron’s face, to reach his fingers into the blond locks. His entire world stops around him, nothing he has ever felt compares to this. Nothing will compare to this. Aaron tastes like sweet mint, even under the vodka. He feels like a wall built around him, shielding him from every person, every accusation, every savage word._

_This might not be the secret that Aaron had originally been talking about, but it’s the only secret he’s willing to share._

Kevin’s body moves on autopilot out of the conference room, there’s no recollection of following his team, or the idle conversation he manages to have with Anna and Jordan. His voice sounds foreign to his own ears, but it somehow isn’t at the same time. The voice belongs to him, but not a him he wants to remember; no, this voice belongs to the Kevin that was second best, to the Kevin with a number tattooed on his cheek, to the Kevin that let Riko do whatever he wanted so he could escape unscathed. This was the voice of a Kevin he never wanted to meet again. 

But right now it’s the only Kevin that is stopping him from spiraling out in the middle of United Stadium. 

Both of his hands slip into his pockets, hiding the trembling from the rest of the team as he tries to keep a level head enough to make it to his car without having to run into Riko; luckily the coach and a report had caught him while the rest of the team filed out. Anna asks him something, but he can’t really recall what it is, his past self throws her a media answer to soothe her soul, but deep down he wants to throw up. 

He’d thought switching teams and signing to Chicago was the best plan for him moving forward, he’d had such a good feeling about it at the time. Now? Right now he regrets ever agreeing to sign with the Warriors, he regrets not listening to Jack and staying with the Texans for another two year contract. How was he supposed to walk out onto the court and practice with someone who steadily ruined his life for years. Sure, this would be the first time he’d seen Riko since they graduated, but they were never captains, they didn’t play opposite of each other. The most he’d had to deal with was shaking his hand at the end of the game. 

“I can’t believe this, our starting line is going to be insane. With you and Riko no doubt being starters, I don’t even mind playing second to you guys.” Jordan says as he pushes the back door open to lead them into their parking lot. 

Anna follows after him, stepping out and into the windy, bright Chicago day, her curled hair whipping around her. “I have a fantastic feeling about this year, last year was a little rough, but this year is gonna be good.” She smiles at him, tucking a piece of her hair behind her ear. 

The way she’s looking at Kevin makes it seem like she’s waiting for some kind of response; one he doesn’t know how to give. So instead he nods at her, a smile tacked on for good measure. The impending anxiety attack is only getting closer now that he knows his car with it’s tinted windows is about a hundred feet away from where they are; the safe haven he needs right now. 

But no one makes any moves to leave and opening his own mouth to speak up sounds impossible, his mouth feels like cotton balls, the muscles in his face seem to be glued together. Kevin hates that all that time he spent talking to a therapist has done nothing to actually help him when coming face to face with Riko. 

“Ah, Kevin. You left so quickly we didn’t get a chance to talk.” 

Kevin can _feel_ the ice in his veins at the sound of his voice. Anna and Jordan step to the side to allow for Riko to step through the doors and into the parking lot. 

His mouth opens and closes again, throat clearing to attempt a response.

Riko takes another step, nearly closing in on their little circle of conversation. 

Inside his pocket his left-hand aches. Kevin flexes it the best he can to try and dull the pain and trembling.

“I promise if you take one more step I’ll make sure you never play Exy again.”

Four heads turn to the left, three confused and one disgusted face look on at the site of the five-foot tall, blond standing there with his arms crossed. To anyone else they’d suspect Andrew, standing there; after all the look on their faces is identical, the same pissed off and disgusted look Kevin was so used to seeing on Andrew’s face is reflected back at him right now. 

But there’s a different edge in this voice. There’s no promise of a quick death in this voice, there’s the very evident threat of a slow, painful and tortuous one. 

“Brought your guard dog with you, then.” Riko says, trying his best not to snarl out the statement, glancing back toward Kevin. 

“Oh, you _wish_ I were Andrew.” 

For all the similarities between Andrew and Aaron there were also the same amount of differences. For one, Kevin knew that Andrew doesn’t take the same chances in protecting the ones he loves; he goes straight for the throat to eliminate the threat in the quickest way possible to lessen the chance of anything else happening. But Aaron? Aaron goes for the shot that will prolong that pain of death, he goes for the hit that will surely kill in ways one didn’t think were possible. 

They were both deadly in their own ways. 

“Kevin, let’s go.” 

Where Andrew meant death, Aaron meant torture.

Kevin doesn’t even chance a second glance back at his three teammates as he turns to head toward where Aaron is, toward one of the people who knows how he’s feeling inside right now. Without question, he drops the keys to the Range Rover into Aaron’s outstretched hand, and he goes straight toward it, knowing someone — Aaron— was at his back. He doesn’t even want to know what he had to do to manage to get in here past the security at the gate, he doesn’t want to know how he knew what was going on. All he can think about is getting inside the car and letting go. 

But somewhere in the back of his mind, a small little ember warms him; Aaron came for him. Aaron came for **him**. 

Inside the Range Rover, he tries to focus on the very angry way Aaron adjusts the seat to accommodate his height, trying his best to keep his breathing as even as he can, but he doesn’t pretend to hide the way his hands are trembling where they’re resting on his thighs. Of course, it’s to no avail, he can feel the way his lungs are starting to close up, the way the muscles in his chest constrict and make him feel like he’s dying. The way his —

At the same time the car jerks into motion Kevin watches with the little focus he can muster on the way Aaron reaches over to hold his left hand, on the way he rubs his thumb so, _so_ soothingly over the ugly scar there. 

Kevin keeps his focus on that and manages to fight down the panic and bile rising in his throat. 

* * *

For the past eight hours Kevin could focus on nothing but the constant buzzing of his phone that’d been just out of reach since he’d banished himself to his room. 

The second they made it up the stairs and into the apartment Kevin headed straight for the shower, turned the water up as hot as he could get it and stayed under the spray until the water made him shiver. Aaron had been pacing back and forth in the living room, his phone held to his ear mumbling something into the speaker; he looked tense, but Kevin went straight to his room instead of going to him. 

Again his phone buzzes, but this time in a constant manner, like a phone call, so he forces himself to reach over for it, preparing himself for the name on the screen before finally looking at it. 

**_Dad_ **

Talking is the last thing that Kevin wants to do, truthfully. But he also knows that it’s what he should be doing right now, keeping the feelings in aren’t doing anything but hurting him. Plus, he’s sure this isn’t the first phone call he’s ignored since he came back, and it’s probably a good idea that he doesn’t miss anymore. 

“Hi.” Kevin says into the phone, quieter than he usually sounds, but an improvement from what his voice was back at the stadium.

“Jesus Kevin, you’re lucky Aaron answers his phone. I was five seconds away from getting on a plane and going right to Chicago tonight. I still will.”

Surprisingly the rough sound of Wymack’s voice calms something in him. “You don’t have to.” Part of him wants Wymack to come up here, but he knows that there’s nothing that that would accomplish. If he comes to Chicago for Kevin, his current foxes will suffer, and even if Wymack attends a practice there’s nothing that he can do to help this matter. It’s not collegiate games anymore, this is real, professional Exy. The only pull Wymack has in this world is that he was the coach of three of the current best players. 

“Betsy’s going to text you later, I’m just giving you a heads up because I asked her too. You don’t have to respond.” 

Considering he left his therapist when he left Texas, and hasn’t had a chance to find a new one, talking with Bee, who knows about the Riko situation, didn't sound like a bad idea. “I think I’ll take her up on that offer.” 

The silence is a comfortable thing; Kevin didn’t realize how much he missed being around his family, how simply being around people that know you can instantly make one feel the slightest bit better. It would be nice to see Wymack, but he knows that Aaron is in the next room waiting for him. 

“Did you have any idea?” 

“No.”

Half of this is Kevin’s fault, after all. Had he listened to Aaron all those years ago, drunk in the basement of Fox Tower, all those years ago when Neil told him to stop being second best. Maybe, _just_ maybe he wouldn’t be in the position that he’s in right now. 

“I swear I’m going to — “

“It’s okay.” He manages, even though there’s a part of him that would love to go with whatever was going to come out of his Dad's mouth. “Really. It’s...I’ll figure something out.” 

A loud slam and a crash comes from the living room, causing Kevin to sit up in bed, nearly dropping the phone from his hand. One eyebrow raises as he tries to listen in on what’s going on in the other room. “Even if I don't, I'm sure that Neil's mafia uncle could help.” 

“Kevin!” 

He laughs. 

They both laugh. 

“We have an off week next week. Dan’s coming to cover for practices, so the idiots don’t fall behind. I already talked with Aaron, I’m coming to visit.” 

The _‘I already talked with Aaron’_ part should concern him, or make him feel anything really; anything other than the comfort that settles in his chest. “I look forward to it.” 

“Kevin.”

“Yeah?”

“You’re stronger than you think you are.” 

It feels an awful lot like something your parents are supposed to tell you to make you feel better, strictly because you’re their child and nothing to do with whether what they’re saying is true. His heart constricts in his chest at the thought; if he was really stronger than he thought then why did he nearly get sent into a panic attack? If he was strong why did he so quickly turn back into the version of himself that he hated so much? 

“I gotta go. I’ll call you tomorrow.” They both hung up at the same time, and Kevin flops back onto his bed, focusing on the high ceiling instead of anything else that his brain reaches out for. 

“I broke a vase.” Aaron says. 

Kevin turns his head to the side to look toward the doorway, seeing Aaron standing there, leaning against the door frame; he looks tired. Annoyed and aggravated but tired. He’s holding onto his cell phone so hard he thinks it might actually crack in his grip. “ _You_ broke a vase?” 

“By accident, I slammed the door too hard, and it rattled the shelf.” 

As best he can, he shrugs, realizes he probably looks like an idiot trying to shrug laying down, and so he moves over in his bed to make room for Aaron. He hopes that just this once Aaron will crawl into bed with him; he doesn’t want to be alone anymore. Not when being alone just tempts his brain to reach into the deep, dark places he tries so hard to keep hidden. Just this once he wants something to keep him at bay, something other than Exy. 

Aaron crosses the room without any prompting, and sits himself down right by his side, with his socked feet pressing into his hip, looking at him just as he did all those years ago in a basement room at Fox Tower. It sends Kevin’s stomach flipping. 

“Why did you slam the door?”

Honey-eyes avoid his now, jaw set hard as he looks off at some point in the far corner of the room. Something dark and painful settles in his stomach; did Riko know where he lives? Did he actually show up at his door to see him? Was he actively searching him out?

“Your stupid teammates showed up. Some dumb girl and some equally dumb guy, wanted to check up on you.” 

Despite the situation he can’t help but bite down on a laugh. “Why, why do you sound so pissed about that?” For a second Kevin thinks Aaron might be _jealous_. Why would he be, they’re just his teammates. 

“I’m not.” 

“You slammed the door so hard you broke a vase.” 

An uncomfortable silence settles over the both of them, Aaron still not looking in his direction, the panic from earlier still threatening his psyche. Had he pushed a line just now? No, Aaron might not have the best temper, but he wouldn’t get angry with him over something like that. But there’s something there, something poking at the both of them until one of them ends up breaking. Kevin doesn’t like it, the unknown of what this is, what it might bring to them. 

“I meant what I said to him earlier. If he takes another step toward you, if he lays a single fucking finger on you, if he tries to play his stupid fucking mind tricks on you, I swear. I **swear** Kevin, I will make him wish I were my brother. I will make him wish he were never born. I will make him regret signing his name on the dotted line of his contract. I will make it so that he can never play again.” 

Aaron might not be looking at him, but he sure as hell isn’t looking at anything else in the room either. It’s as if he’s starting at everything and nothing at the same exact time. A look he hadn’t ever seen on his face before but one that he’s seen on Andrew’s a million times. 

“...Aaron…” 

It feels like there’s a lump in his throat, his chest and his stomach all at the same time, stopping him from saying what he actually wants to say. Stopping him from reaching out and touching Aaron, stopping him from sitting up, from making Aaron look at him. 

“Don’t Aaron me.” Aaron’s gaze whips to Kevin now, there’s a determined look on his face; a fierce but determined look. “I’m serious, Kevin. Until we figure out what the hell his fucking game is, you’re not leaving my sight do you understand? No. It doesn’t matter, it’s not up for debate. I’m your guard dog now, and I will not hesitate to break every single bone in his fucking hands if he tries _anything_.”

Kevin wants to say something, he wants to reach out for Aaron, but he can’t. He’s stuck. Each one of Aaron’s words has turned him into stone, unable to react in the way that he _wants_. Hell, he isn’t even sure that his face is reacting the way that he wants it too. 

“I’m going to bed. You should too.” Aaron leaves the room without a second glance back in his direction. 

Despite it, all he can feel underneath everything is a warmth blooming inside his chest.

* * *

_Nothing can stay golden forever, The Outsiders were wrong there_ , Kevin thinks to himself as he stares at the bags under his eyes in the mirror in his bathroom. 

The apartment is quiet, it should be, the clock on his phone told him it was seven in the morning, and that was before he jumped in the shower. It may have been Saturday, and that may have meant that he didn’t have to be at the stadium, and it may have meant that Aaron didn’t have classes or labs; normally it would have meant a relaxing day for the two of them. The weekends were for grocery shopping, for Aaron showing him around the city, for morning runs and afternoon workouts. Now, the thought of leaving the apartment made him actually sick. 

Kevin finishes up in the bathroom, going through the motions of brushing his teeth, of his morning skin-care routine, of towel drying his hair and hanging his towels to dry on the two hooks on the wall. He chooses something comfortable to change into, just a pair of sweatpants and a matching Under Armour sweater before quietly making his way into the living room on socked feet. The thought of food doesn't appeal to him currently, and there’s never anything on the television this early. Netflix and Hulu are out of the question; he has to watch the documentaries with Aaron, and regardless of what happened yesterday he knows the younger male wouldn’t be happy with being woken up so early for that. So he settles for the group chat instead. 

**kevin:** morning

**kevin:** ik there’s like 30 messages from yesterday but i’m not reading them

**kevin:** i’m fine

**dan:** okay neil 

**kevin:** i’m kevin

**allison:** it’s a figure of speech you fucking jackass

**allison:** can’t belive you made me call aaron 

**kevin:** oh

**kevin:** ty dan

**dan:** ??? 

**dan:** OH no problem, looking forward to absolutely ruining the foxes week

**kevin:** throw in some raven drills for me

**allison:** EXCUSE ME DON’T IGNORE ME

**allison:** our first game of the season is against you guys

**allison:** how pissed u think my coach would be if i red carded first game for beating riko with my racquet

**matt:** at least it would be worth it, already asked my coach to put me on him when we play against u guys

**kevin:** absolutely do not get a red card, allison are you

**kevin:** red cards are red cards for a reason

**kevin:** you’re supposed to avoid those

**matt:** leave it to kevin to be traumatized and still want us to play by the rules

“You look like you’re gonna shit your pants.” Aaron says in greeting, sleep shirt favoring his left shoulder, and sleep still clinging to his voice. 

Kevin doesn’t _exactly_ think that’s what his face conveys, but of course that’s where Aaron’s mind goes. “Allison is debating red-carding in her first game just to hit Riko with her racquet. Can you believe that?” 

“Tell her I think that’s a fantastic idea.” 

“It’s absolutely not a good idea. The first game of the season and she’s going to get a red-card? That’s the opposite of a good idea. A good idea, no, a great idea even, would be to _not_ get a red-card on the first game.” 

“Kevin.”

Kevin glances over to Aaron, who has now made his way into the kitchen to grab a bottle of water. “It’s Saturday.” 

“It is.”

“And what does Saturday entail?” 

He’s quiet for a moment, watching as the other takes a long sip of water from the bottle. A few drops slip out of the corner of his mouth, and trickle down his chin and along the column of his throat. Kevin clears his throat and looks away, his cheeks warming themselves without his permission. “No work talk. No school talk.” 

“Perfect.” And without missing a beat. “I want waffles.” 

Kevin takes one last glance at the group chat, fingers hovering over his keyboard. The Saturday, no work no school rule wasn’t meant to shut him up, or Aaron for that matter; it was meant to give them an escape. Every other day of the week they could say whatever they wanted about work or school, but Saturday was their sacred day. Unless of course he had a game or Aaron had exams coming up. But since neither of them did, he sighed sent a quick message and tossed his phone aside. 

**kevin:** aaron’s up, gonna have breakfast will scold you two at 12:01 am 

“I’ll make you waffles.” Kevin gets off the couch, and heads into the kitchen already heading straight for the cabinet with the waffle iron.

“Blueberry waffles.” Aaron raises his eyebrow, leaning against the counter. 

“I can make you blueberry waffles.” 

“With a lemon sauce.” 

“Aaron, I’m not a chef.” He says exasperatedly.

“Fine, without the lemon sauce. I’ll use whipped cream.” 

“Get me my phone I’ll make a lemon sauce.” 

Aaron laughs, but Kevin is completely serious; fruit is better than whipped cream, and he’ll die on that hill no matter how many times Andrew tries to shove him face first off of it. 

“Do you know how much sugar goes into lemon sauce, Kev? The whipped cream is a better option.” He says as he passes the milk and eggs to Kevin to start making the batter. “I’m gonna shower while you make those. Don’t forget the blueberries.”

Kevin watches as Aaron leaves the room, and goes about making their waffles, half the batter for Aaron’s blueberry ones and half for his plain ones. With their double waffle maker, it takes half the time, so he goes a little slower than usual to give Aaron enough time in the shower. He switches their coffee maker on to brew a pot, gets their cups out and adds the sugar and creamer to Aaron’s. When it comes time to make the blueberry ones, he adds extra just because. 

Or so he tells himself, anyway. 

It has nothing to do with what Aaron did for him yesterday, what he promised him. And it definitely has nothing to do with the warmth on his cheeks from the way the water dripped down his neck this morning. Jesus, he’s literally in the middle of a crisis right now, he shouldn’t be thinking about the way the water dripped down his roommates neck. What he should be thinking about is what he’s going to do some Sunday afternoon when he needs to head back into the stadium for practice; does he say anything to Riko? Will it look bad if he doesn’t? Are they going to be starting together? Is he even going to be able to form words around him? Even worse, is he even going to be able to play like he knows he can play? Or is he going to make himself small, so the King can succeed? 

He shakes his head; no, it’s Saturday, and there’s no work talk on Saturday. 

It doesn’t matter what he’s going to do, that’s an issue for Sunday Kevin. 

The rest of breakfast doesn’t take that long to finish up; Kevin plates the waffles, pours the coffee and shoves the dirty dishes into the dishwasher and by the time he’s sitting down to butter his waffles Aaron emerges from his room. “Finished just in time.” 

Aaron slides into his seat, inspecting the coffee already made for him on the counter, and then the blueberry pancakes and whipped cream canister he left near the plate. He doesn’t say anything at all as he loads up the top of the waffles with the fluffy white concoction, what he does do is side eye Kevin the entire time like he’s waiting for him to say something or stop him; Kevin doesn’t of course, he’s too busy buttering his own waffles. 

Breakfast is quiet, like most of the other meals they have together. It feels weird to Kevin, the silence, at times it can be a little awkward, but whenever he tries to start a conversation something inside him stops him from opening his mouth. Maybe _he’s_ the one that’s making this awkward, whenever he chances a glance at Aaron he always seems content with the silence, like it’s comfortable for him. Kevin guesses it must be, maybe all his meals with Katelyn were like this; silent, just enjoying each other's company. 

For some reason the idea of Katelyn and Aaron having nice, quiet meals together twists something in his stomach so much that he has to force himself to think about something else. So he shoves a piece of his waffle in his mouth, and thinks about what the both of them need to add to the grocery list. Maybe Aaron won’t care to go alone this time, or maybe he’ll be able to convince him that they can get the groceries delivered just this once. 

Then he realizes, halfway through his breakfast.

“Hey, Aaron?” Kevin asks after swallowing down a particularly large bite of waffle. He doesn’t wait for a response or look in Aaron direction though, his nerves getting the better of him. “Thank you.” 

Thank you for living with me.   
Thank you for being my friend.  
Thank you for believing in me.  
Thank you for yesterday.   
Thank you for looking out for me.  
Thank you for everything.  
Thank you.  
Thank you.

He convinces himself he doesn’t need a response; for whatever reason Aaron did what he did yesterday, he’s sure it has more to do with Andrew than anything else. Before Aaron had come into his room he’d heard him on the phone with someone, it was probably Andrew telling him to do what he could. Probably Andrew threatening Aaron, or promising Aaron something; do this for me, and I’ll do this for you, sort of deal. 

Look out for Kevin, and I’ll pay your med school, or something.

Whatever their deal was, he needs to thank Aaron anyway. They all know from experience that Riko isn’t someone to take lightly in any situation, and for Aaron to stick his neck out like that for him, he knew what Aaron was risking. 

“Yeah...whatever.” After what felt like forever, Aaron responds. It’s quiet, like he almost doesn't want Kevin to hear it, and he says it around a bite of his waffles, but it’s there. Then after another minute, this time louder. “We have Letterkenny to catch up on.”

It brings a small quirk of Kevin’s lips as he takes another bite of his breakfast, chews and swallows and says. “Anything you want.” And he means it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so, i would just like to apologize for how long this chapter took to get out; i did not mean for it to take this long. but i started writing it and halfway through my brain had taken a u-turn and i had to scrap what i had and start over. but we got to the halfway point of this chapter, so that's all that matters. with that being said, chapter 7 is going to pick up right where this one left off but in aaron's point of view, because as i was writing this one there was a lot more i wanted to include, but i'd have to had switched back and forth between the two of them and it would have made this chapter about 9k itself. so for everyone who wanted to know who aaron was on the phone with, if you wanted to know just how aaron feels about riko showing up, stay tuned for next week. 
> 
> also, hands up if you also make yourself cry with your own writing, because whoa-boy. 
> 
> again, thank you to everyone who has commented and kudos, bookmarked and subscribed it means the absolute world to me that people are enjoying this. i don't know that i can properly show you guys how much you all mean to me, xoxo.


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> unbeated as per usual.

The phone in his hands is hot from constant use; ever since they’d gotten back from the stadium his phone had been ringing and buzzing with calls and texts about how Kevin was doing. Of course, he didn’t answer his phone, he could barely get him out of the car and into the apartment with all his things. He can feel the exhaustion start to seep into his bones and muscles as he collapses onto the couch. 

Allison had been the first person he’d spoken too, mostly because she had been the first one to call him directly. Most of the phone call had been her fuming on the other line and Aaron having to listen to her; she had been so worried about him, which had been confusing to Aaron, he didn’t know that they had even gotten close since they graduated. That thought alone had made him even more annoyed than he already was for having to play phone tag with what felt like everyone they knew. But she’d also sounded genuine about her concern and Aaron was genuine about his, so he was honest with her about how he was. 

The Second call was to Wymack, which made sense. Apparently he’d tried to get in touch with Kevin but it’d kept going to voicemail, so he decided to call Aaron instead. Aaron had been more open and honest with Wymack than he had been with Allison, and they’d done an equal amount of talking. Within the next couple of days Wymack was going to come up and stay with them, to make sure Kevin was alright while Aaron was at his classes. He also learned that Wymack told Bee, so she was going to be reaching out to Kevin within the next day to see if he wanted to talk about anything he was feeling. Kevin hadn’t found a new therapist since he moved to Chicago, and Wymack was worried that he wasn’t going to handle it well, so he was taking things into his own hands. Aaron couldn’t agree more. 

Then there was the group chat, which hadn’t stopped buzzing from the moment he’d ended up leaving work, fuming and trying not to punch a hole in the window of his Uber’s car. 

He’s exhausted, not nearly as exhausted as Kevin probably was, but he was exhausted nonetheless. 

In his hand his phone rings again, he glances down at the caller ID and is surprised when he sees that the phone call is from Katelyn. He debates not answering the phone, but he owes her for covering for him today, so he presses accept and holds the phone to his ear. 

“Hey, how’s he doing?” Is the first thing she asks him. 

Aaron mulls over how to answer that, not entirely sure if he’d be able to fit into words just how Kevin was doing since he’d gotten there. “Better than I expected him to be.” Which was true, at least Kevin seemed to understand what he was telling him, and not completely shutting down the outside world. “Why are you calling?”

Don’t get him wrong he knows Katelyn is a kind and caring person, he knows she has empathy for days, he knows she’s usually the first one to offer help to someone; but this situation confuses him. Earlier today she nearly bit off his head when he’d asked her about Kevin, and now she’s calling to make sure he’s okay? 

“You didn’t hire a witch to cast a spell on him or something, and now you feel bad that he might have died, so you need to call and clear your conscience?” 

The line is quiet for a while, all Aaron can hear is her even breathing on the other side, and maybe there used to be a part of him that would have felt bad for maybe hurting her feelings or making fun of her but right now he couldn’t care less. Call him an asshole, it wouldn’t be the first time. 

“I was there.” Katelyn says, like those three words are supposed to trigger some kind of long-lost memory of his; they don’t. Aaron’s quiet on his end, hoping to prompt her into continuing. “When you kissed him in the basement, before the championship game.” 

_ Oh _ .

_ Oh she was  _ there. 

It is a very rare thing for Aaron to be rendered speechless, his tongue may not move as fast as Neil’s does, but it’s very rare that he  _ doesn’t _ have a comeback to someone. Even if that comeback is a look that could kill; which is a bit hard considering this is a phone conversation. To be fair, she’d probably laugh if she could see what he looks like right now. 

“I mean, I had my suspicions before. You two formed this bond together that I never understood, and I just — I had my suspicions, and then I actually saw it and I couldn’t deny it anymore. But I loved you, and I didn’t want to believe it and you still always showed up for me.” Katelyn continues, though he can hear the dip in her voice and suddenly feels  _ very  _ bad. 

“And I wanted to believe so badly that it was just a drunken mistake, so that’s what I did. I told myself that it was in my head, that I was imagining it. But over the years all I did was realize I was lying to myself. The two of you would always sit together in the corner, you’d go out together, you actually went to night practice because he asked you. I thought once he left that it would get better, but it didn’t, you talked more. You went to see him in Texas. I just... I couldn’t sit by and pretend anymore, Aaron.” 

Until now, he hadn’t realized how much time he’d spent with Kevin prior to this, back then it all felt like a blur, it felt like routine, he was a Monster; they were both Monsters. All they did was spend time together, so at the time the times him and Kevin would sneak away never really counted. When they would go off to breakfast before classes together it never felt different, it never felt different when they’d go for walks at night when Kevin’s anxiety got too bad, it didn’t feel different when he went to visit Kevin for the brief free time he had in the summer. 

“I know I shouldn’t have cheated on you, I know that. But I... I knew I couldn’t keep going on pretending that there wasn’t some part of you in Texas with him. I knew I made the right decision when I saw how you reacted to Riko’s press conference today.” She stops short there, sucking in a breath and pausing again. 

The pause makes Aaron’s skin crawl. 

“You may not realize it, and you may not love him. But Aaron you have feelings for Kevin, you always have, and they’re not going to go away.” 

There’s a knock at the door, and Aaron has never been so happy to have visitors in his entire life. Katelyn’s words knocked the wind out of him, they shocked his system and not in a way that brought him back to life but in a way that  _ hurts _ . 

“I have to go.” 

Aaron hangs up his phone, leaving it and the conversation behind as he opens the front door, except what he sees doesn’t help the hurt it makes it worse. Standing before him looking nervous are the two teammates Kevin had been with when Riko cornered him outside. Considering Aaron doesn’t know who these people are, whether they were bought by the Moriyama’s or if they were too, just caught in the crossfire. It doesn’t matter because Aaron doesn’t have to find out right now. 

“I’m Anna.” The girl starts, wringing her hands in front of her. “This is Jordan, and we were uhm, wondering if Kevin was okay?”

If these two people were bought by the Moriyama’s and here to find out about Kevin, the last thing Aaron wants to do is give Riko the satisfaction of knowing that he could break him so easily. But he also doesn’t want to give Riko a reason to try even  _ harder _ . Aaron taps his fingers against the door in thought, before letting out a laugh. 

“I don’t have time for this.” 

Aaron slams the door in their faces so hard that the shelf next to it rattles and some hideous looking vase falls to the floor, shattering across the hardwood. 

He doesn’t have time for that either. 

He doesn’t have time for anything really. 

Especially not this. 

Cleaning up the vase is easy, though he has to try very hard not to cut himself with the pieces as he empties them from the dust pan into a plastic bag. Once the pieces are in the trash, and he’s satisfied he didn’t miss anything on the floor he stares down the hallway. There’s a few options that come to mind with what he does next, none of them are exactly what he wishes he were able to do. 

Option One: Walk right down the hallway, peek into Kevin’s room to make sure he’s still alive and then go right to his own bedroom, collapse on the bed and fall asleep. 

(  _ This is the most preferable option, and of course the one he already knows he isn’t going to pick _ . ) 

Option Two: Walk right down the hallway, go into Kevin’s room to make sure he’s alright, talk to him and then return to his own bedroom to spend the night staring at the ceiling, thinking about what he feels towards Kevin. 

Option Three: Call Andrew.

Option Four: ???

Aaron knows that even making a list of options, that there was really only one thing that he was going to do the entire time. No matter how many options he came up with, no matter how many of those options were better ideas. As much as he’s changed he really still chooses the options involving things that he might regret somewhere down the line. 

As he heads down the hallway he doesn’t hear much coming from Kevin’s room, for a second he thought he might have fallen asleep, but peaking his head in he can tell from the rise and fall of Kevin’s chest that he’s awake.  _ What? _

“I broke a vase.” 

Not his best opening line, but it’s a line nonetheless. 

The way that Kevin looks at him makes his annoyance rear its ugly head again; of course he’d look at him like that, with those green eyes and perfect lips. Aaron grips the phone in his hand harder. 

“ _ You _ broke a vase?” 

“By accident, I slammed the door too hard, and it rattled off the shelf.” 

Kevin shrugs, and it makes Aaron want to laugh because it makes him look a bt like an overgrown fish, but he makes room on his bed as an invitation. An invitation that had Aaron’s stomach dropping to his toes, but one he accepts regardless. He sits down the exact same way he’d done in the Fox Tower basement room, with socked feet pressing into Kevin’s hip. For good measure he presses down against the bone just to see what kind of face Kevin would make. The reaction is minute, but Aaron can see the small curl of his lips. 

“Why did you slam the door?” 

Aaron avoids his gaze.

Admitting to Kevin that he didn’t want to deal with his teammates probably wasn’t going to be a good look on him, not that he ever cared before. It might be good for Kevin to know that even being with the Warriors a short time that he made connections with people who care about him. But telling him also runs the risk of Kevin’s mind going to the same exact place that his did: were they bought by the Moriyamas. 

“Your stupid teammates showed up. Some dumb girl and some equally dumb guy, wanted to check up on you.” His response isn’t quiet venom, but it’s not as if he put any effort in the make it sound friendly either. There’s no way he’s going to trust them until he can figure out more of the pieces of this puzzle Riko has made. 

“Why do you sound so pissed about that? 

Why  _ does _ he sound so pissed about that? Sure there was the chance that they  **weren’t** bought by Riko, which means that they have genuine intentions when showing up to see Kevin. That would be good right? So why did Aaron feel just as foul about that idea as he did about the Riko one? Surely there has to be a reason. 

Of course there was a reason, the one that Katelyn used to break his entire being about an hour ago. One that he doesn’t want to think about, the one he can’t  _ stop _ thinking about no matter how much he tries. The one where he has feelings for Kevin, some kind of feelings he needs to figure out because there aren’t any more vases to accidentally break. 

Aaron chews his bottom lip. “I’m not.”

“You slammed the door so hard you broke a vase.”

That he did, though he wouldn’t exactly say that he’s pissed. 

He’s confused. 

Half of his life he spent so unsure of himself, just following his mother around, listening to her, doing what she did because he didn’t know any better. Little Aaron didn’t know to stand up for himself, he didn’t know how to have a voice that wasn’t a parrot of his mothers. Then when Andrew came into his life things started to change, he didn’t have to say what he was thinking because someone else did and when he did stand up for himself people listened. After that he’d been so sure of what he wanted and who he was. 

Now where was all of that? Out in left field somewhere, that’s where. 

Suddenly this person he’d lived with for years, this person he’d been friends with for years was so much more than both of those things and Aaron can’t figure out when or where it happened.

Honey eyes focus at the corner of the wall to his left, but they aren’t exactly focusing on anything other than that point. He’s looking, but he’s not looking at the same time. In his mind is a constant replay of every single interaction he’s ever had with Kevin, every hang-out, every drunken night at Edens, every late night walk, all the phone and text conversations. It’s almost as if his life with Kevin up until this point was flashing right in front of his eyes on fast-forward. 

It keeps repeating, over and over and over again until he finds it. 

The moment. 

Then everything else starts to tilt back into place, no quiet enough to fix the tilt, but enough that he’s not so dizzy from it. 

“I meant what I said to him earlier. If he takes another step toward you, if he lays a single fucking finger on you, if he tries to play his stupid fucking mind tricks on you, I swear. I swear Kevin, I will make him wish I were my brother. I will make him wish he were never born. I will make him regret signing his name on the dotted line of his contract. I will make it so that he can never play again.”

The words come out of his mouth on their own, his back a little straighter his gaze more determined than it had been before. It doesn’t matter how tilted his world is right now, it doesn’t matter what exactly his feelings are; none of it matters. The only thing that does matter is keeping Kevin safe. They’d been through so much, too much together for Aaron to sit by idly and watch Kevin struggle. 

What kind of person would he be if he did?

“...Aaron…” Kevin’s voice sounds like it’s about to crack.

“Don’t Aaron me.” His gaze whips to Kevin now, there’s a determined look on his face; a fierce but determined look. “I’m serious, Kevin. Until we figure out what the hell his fucking game is, you’re not leaving my sight do you understand? No. It doesn’t matter, it’s not up for debate. I’m your guard dog now, and I will not hesitate to break every single bone in his fucking hands if he tries anything.”

Aaron is not going to lose Kevin to Riko, not before he can figure out what his feelings are. 

Not ever, actually. 

The look on Kevin’s face is too much to handle once Aaron actually gets a proper look at it. There’s too much being said there; Kevin is such an easy book for Aaron to read, he wishes it were harder. Without even needing to open his mouth he’s already making a pit form in the center of Aaron’s chest; not uncomfortable, but not familiar. It’s too much. 

“I’m going to bed. You should too.” He says, clearing his throat and untucking his toes from Kevin’s hip, where they’d been applying steady pressure without him realizing. 

There is no time to wait for a response, he needs to get out of there before Kevin says anything else to him, too afraid of what  _ he _ might say in return. So he leaves, without a second glance back at him. Straight to his room. 

When he gets there the only light that’s on is the one near his bed, not nearly lighting the room enough. On his way to his bed he catches a glance of himself in the mirror. Aaron stops, turning to face it head-on and what he sees in the mirror isn’t his own reflection but Andrews. 

And for once in his life, he doesn’t regret it.

* * *

After breakfast, they put LetterKenny on the TV, both of their cell phones are face up on the coffee table, but they’re forgotten there; Kevin is too busy laughing at what’s on the screen and Aaron is too busy looking at everyone and nothing all at once. The words Katelyn said the night before are still playing over and over in his head, they played over and over all night long. Every single moment they were ever together, every single visit to Texas, every single walk, every single time he went to night practice for a sport he didn’t even care about just because Kevin asked him too. 

He thinks about the bits of oddly placed jealousy he felt toward Neil and Andrew for having a connection to Kevin that he’d never have, for the way they were able to help Kevin in ways that he wasn’t able to. Aaron thinks back to the times when he wished he could care a little more about Exy, a little more about winning, so maybe Kevin would look at him that way he looked at Neil when he made a goal. Or the way he looked at Andrew when he shut down the goal for the entire half. 

There was never a point in his life where Aaron thought a man was attractive, never a point in his life where he thought about having a relationship with a man, kissing a man, sleeping with one. Where does Kevin get off coming into his life and making Aaron feel these feelings and not telling him what to do with them? Even worse making him feel these little feelings over the years and not even realizing it. 

The fact that Kevin came into his life and made Aaron feel what he’d felt and done for girls all his life. 

The way that Kevin did all that and still could sit there next to him right now and laugh at a show instead of apologizing for turning Aaron’s life upside down. 

While he’s thinking about people apologizing to him, Katelyn should also be on that list. She is the one who made him realize it, after all. 

“Everything okay?” Kevin asks, poking at Aaron’s cheek. 

In return Aaron swats Kevin’s hand away with a glare, moving a bit farther away for good measure. “Tired.” It isn’t a lie, he’d spent most of the night thinking about the second year he went to visit Kevin in Texas. About the dinner they went to, the way he’d introduced him to his team, the way the Texans looked at him the entire time that he was there.

Was he just reading into it all now that he has a different perspective? Had Kevin also been treating him differently? Or was that just Kevin being Kevin? 

“Why don’t you take a nap then? We can continue this later, not a big deal.” Kevin presses the pause button on the controller, sitting up from where he was previously slouched on the couch. 

He wants to laugh, it’s not like he’d be able to nap anyway. Aaron doubts that his brain will stop running over every single interaction he’s ever had with Kevin; he won’t sleep until his brain is so exhausted that he won’t be able to keep his eyes open and his limbs feel like dead weights. The last time Aaron was that tired was back when he was still living in California, long before he even knew the name Andrew, back when him and his mom shared the same vices. 

“I’m fine, really.” Aaron reaches out to press the play button on the controller, watching as the Valentine’s Day episode of LetterKenny begins to play in the background. 

Green eyes stay focused on his profile for a beat longer than he’d hoped they would, but before he has a chance to say anything they’re back looking at the TV screen. It feels like Kevin wants to say something, but Aaron doesn’t want to think about what might come out of his mouth. 

Mostly he’s afraid of whatever response he’d give if he had to give him one. 

_ Of course the Valentine’s Day episode is on _ , he thinks bitterly as he tries his best to focus all of his attention on the episode. 

It does remind him of the first Valentine’s Day he spent with Kevin, though. Thinking back on it now he should have known that something was different about Kevin, that he felt something different for him. Maybe even vice-versa if he’s being honest. 

_ “February 14th, Valentine’s Day, I don’t understand the hype.” Kevin says, as he flips through the CVS flyer Matt had left on the small coffee table in Aaron’s dorm room.  _

_ “Probably because you have the most unhealthy view on most things.” Aaron snorts, shoving his Microbiology book away from him, finally annoyed with the chapter he had been reading.  _

_ “We never celebrated holidays, and Thea never made a big deal about it back then.” He huffs, tossing the flyer onto the table and watching it float onto the floor.  _

_ “Lucky. Katelyn treats it like a second Christmas, we always do something big and romantic. She’s upset we can’t this year with their competition and all.”  _

_ The Vixens made it through to the National Championship this year, and the week they were going away to compete just so happened to be the same weekend that Valentines was; he’d planned on using the day to study for classes, but Katelyn had pouted about missing the day. Which meant that Aaron also had to pretend for her sake that he was bummed too, even though she could see through him.  _

_ “Neil and Andrew are kicking me out of the dorm, and Nicky is staying at the Columbia house to FaceTime with Erik all weekend….” Kevin starts, tossing a pillow at the back of Aaron’s head.  _

_ With a huff he takes the pillow and turns around to whip it back at Kevin. “And what the hell does that have to do with me?” _

_ “Well, Matt is taking Dan away for the weekend, so you’ll have a whole dorm to yourself and I have no dorm to go to. Let me stay here. Please.” _

_ “No.” That would be a fast track to not being able to study the weekend away. It would also be a quick way to be sucked into practicing Exy.  _

_ “Please, Aaron. Pretty please I’ll buy alcohol and dinner and I won’t even talk about Exy.”  _

_ Aaron suspects he would do just about anything to not have to stay with the girls for the weekend, not that Kevin seems to have a problem with Allison or Renee. Plus, he could have asked to stay with Wymack or Abby, so why here? But the alcohol and food would be nice, especially because it’s usually  _ him _ that is buying food and alcohol for the holiday. Not that this is them celebrating the holiday  _ together  _ they’re just hanging out. Two dudes with girlfriends who aren’t with them at the moment.  _

_ That’s all.  _

_ “Fine. But you’re also getting one of those huge assorted chocolate hearts.” Aaron says, turning back to the notes open on his desk.  _

_ “Do you want the one with the giant stuffed bear?” Kevin asks, the ghost of a laugh on the end of his question.  _

_ Just two dudes, hanging out together on Valentine’s Day because their girlfriends aren’t around, and they’re not gay.  _

_ “Actually, yes.”  _

Aaron doesn’t realize he’s about to fall asleep until he sees Kevin pull the blanket he’d been using over him through half closed eyes. If he falls asleep thinking about the stupid soft bear Kevin had gotten to go with the chocolates and how he fed them to Kevin while they were tipsy, no he didn’t. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> first off i would just like to apologize for the extremely long wait for this chapter. i started it and then went through a block on how to continue, i hope the content of the chapter at least makes up for the wait, somewhat!
> 
> secondly, i would like to apologize for the fact that the next chapter probably won't be out until the end of the month. i signed up for the aftg spring exchange, and want to focus all of my attention on making that piece the best it can be for the person receiving the gift, thus i will not be working on chapter 8 during that time, or at least not as much as usual. 
> 
> again, i would also like to thank you guys for the lovely comments and feedback that i get on this, you guys really make me smile whenever i read them. so thank you for your continued support for this, i hope i can make you guys proud.


End file.
